In the beginning there was nothing. After the Big Gravy Stroke, the myriad of splatterings pulsed with life and congeled into planets, lifeforms, and El Schlong. Three homosapiens on a righteous crusade to create. Their numerous musical influences combined with their own creative juices leaving the stiff cloth you hear today. El Schlong’s music is metal with a twist of random. Like satan in the bath puzzled by the ginger pube on the soap. Like a bloodied 2 by 4 with tinsel trim. Like Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the meat tenderiser.......... After being chased out of Dunedin by a crazed mob, the band relocated to the bright lights of Wellington where they are slowly gathering a following of confused young men in white makeup, and others. They have just released their debut album The Baddies Are Coming. You may purchase this by messaging them on this site, or from the sifty one-eyed man in the alley down yonder. If he tries to sell you the "coathanger combo", politely decline. El Schlong are relocating to London in July so catch them live while you can.
We have FINALLY released an album. The Baddies Are Coming is a collection of 8 sometimes heavy, sometimes nice, sometimes odd little ditties. There are three song from the album on our myspace site if you wish to listen and you can order your copy by emailing elschlong@gmail.com.
Saturday the 24th of March @ Refuel (Dunedin)
El Schlong
Incarnate
Out of Agony
Bypast
FREE ENTRY, 4pm start
Your last chance to see El Schlong before they go on hiatus due to the departure of their vocalist
Thursday the 22nd of March @ Valve (Wellington) with Magnum Opus
$10 entry, 10pm start
Friday the 23rd of March @ The Jetset Lounge (Christchurch) with Athenic
$5 entry, 10pm start
Saturday the 24th of March @ Refuel (Dunedin) with Ravenous and Christ Puncher
$5 entry, 10pm start
Your last chance to see El Schlong before they go on hiatus due to the departure of their vocalist.
El Schlong (Wellington)
Gunt (Napier)
Nort (Wellington)
Friday the 26th of January at the Old Latino Bar (Hastings St, Napier).
$5 entry, 10pm start.
Can anybody tell me the names of any heavyish bands based in Hamilton? Cheers.
Does anybody know any that let heavyish bands play now that 6 Feet Under has closed? Please help.
Ravenous, El Schlong, Christ Puncher, Sacrement and Gorehouse
Friday the 11th of August at Esplanade (Christchurch)
$7 entry (1st gig of the Goat Gathering)
Also,
El Schlong, Ravenous, Christ Puncher and Incarnate
Saturday the 12th of August at Refuel (Dunedin).
10 pm start, $5 entry or $3 students with ID
This Saturday (the 24th) at Valve (Wellington) with El Schlong, Azure and Carl's band. $5 entry.
Friday the 19th of May at Valve (Wellington). $5 entry. El Schlong's first gig with their new drummer
Does anyone have a space they'd be willilng to let us practice in once or twice over the next couple of weeks? We have a gig coming up and need to fit in a couple of extra practices. We're willing to pay. Just reply here or email if you can help out. Cheers.
elschlong2003@yahoo.co.uk
Quirky metal band, Wellington.
Our webpage is www.elschlong.cjb.net
If you email me at elschlong2003@yahoo.co.uk I can send you some recordings so you can see if it's the sort of stuff you'd like to play.
Thug life.
Drummer wanted for quirky metal band. Our influences are pretty wide and include lots and lots of different metal, quirky stuff like Mr Bungle, groove orientated stuff like Primus, classical, old man hand cranking tunes, and much much more. We are looking for a metal drummer with similarly wide tastes who is open minded and can groove. Must have sense of humour and be disease free. Please email if you're interested:
elschlong2003@yahoo.co.uk.
Cheers.
Enjoyed the gig at Bodega last night. It's nice to hear a keyboard actually played like a piano rather than just low in the mix backing chords.
Leah
We'd be keen for the Wellington one if you still need more bands.
Wrath (New Plymouth), El Schlong, Azure and Church Inferno @ Valve (Wellington).
10pm start, $7 entry.
Word.
Excellent. We saw King Jankoff for the first time last week and thought they were excellent. Groove gushing from every orifice.
There are two El Schlong songs at www.myspace.com/elschlong. If you're not a big fan of heavy music then I suggest you listen to Blinkers Are Down rather than Kings of the Sandpit. Cheers.
Finally, our collective creative spunk has splattered the unsuspecting faces of homo sapiens world wide. Yes, we have released something. Our debut EP "Loudious Deepthroatus" is now avaliable through the Dls/Merch section of our webpage, or through Real Groovy stores nation wide. It is an expansive 6 song journey through the inner recesses of inner recesses. It also has a video clip in avi format which one critic has given two thumbs up and he also mentioned something about a semi. As well as the EP, we have mens and womens tshirts, so now you can have a cock on your chest in public without getting arrested.
Yes he was awesome, but unfortunately he has decided to give up the drums and pursue a life of deviancy. It turned out for the best because we were about to kick him out anyway due to his out of control junk habit and tendency to stop mid set and masterbate furiously onto the back of our vocalist, who felt mildly uncomfortable at this public display of man mikage. Also tensions were already high because of an incident involving a home enema kit, some draincleaner, and a back catalogue of "Big Busty 40 and Over". There was also the feces, holy water and rack of lamb incident. We do miss his erratic banging, but his departure was best for everyone.
Also, creative differences.
We have just relocated to Wellington and would like to welcome our new drummer, Dylan Elise. We should have a set together pretty soon, so look out Wellington
Don't fret, we're not breaking up, just relocating to Wellington.
Unfortunately Cripple Mr Onion can't make it down. The new lineup is : Ravenous (Invercargill), El Schlong, Sicada
Thursday the 25th of April @ King's Arms (Auckland) with Malevolence and Galloping Hooves of the Apocalypse. $5 entry, starts 9pm sharp due to early close for Anzac Day
Friday the 26th of April @ Yellow Submarine (Hamilton) with World War 4 and Congaline. $5 entry, 10pm start
Saturday the 27th of April @ Brewer's Bar (Tauranga) with Metal Tower, Adrenachrome and The Shit Bros. $5 entry, 10pm start