Ok so most ppl would be pulling one (if not more) xmas cracker(s) this yr, what'd u all get inside them? and what about the jokes? christmas crackers are so amusing because they are just so full of crap, but amusing crap at that. Anyway, I got a party popper that didn't pop (we had it all planned 2 wake up grandad as well), a random plastic pendant that looked like it was supposed 2 b a whistle, golf tees and basically random plastic creatures.
The jokes can be pretty pathetic too, like "What sits on a lily pad and goes 'cloak cloak'"? - a chinese frog.
and where did the idea of paper hats come from? share ppl share..
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i know the jokes are friggin bloody ...
i know the jokes are friggin bloody lame
take the one i pulled out this arvo.
whats the difference between a boxer and a nail?
one is knocked in and the other is knocked out......
how fucken lame can dat get?? im sure if these Crackers where full of "Yo Mama" or Celebrity jokes then they'd be a laugh and a half but the ones they currently publish....lame lame lame!!!!
Share my traditional 'decent' joke ...
Share my traditional 'decent' joke with you...its not from a cracker but I'll be the cracker this time..
What do you call a hippies wife?
Mrs Hippie.
or maybe not..
paper hats?? we used to have them at ...
paper hats?? we used to have them at kiddie Birthday parties 20 years or so back....boy times never change.
Best. Topic. Ever. I got a plastic ...
Best. Topic. Ever.
I got a plastic frog. Don't remember the joke.
My 7yo male cousin who I cracked crackers with got a comb. I feel sorry for the little kids, learning how shitty xmas crackers can be.
At a dinner earlier this month, I got a joke "What's open when it's closed?......The Londen [sic] Tower Bridge."
a) It's not funny.
b) It has a spelling mistake.
c) The spelling mistake makes it funny.
My family forgot to buy Christmas ...
My family forgot to buy Christmas Crackers. =o(
My family didn't forget. They just ...
My family didn't forget. They just dont.
Same..we dont believe in stuff like ...
Same..we dont believe in stuff like that...just food giving which sux.
What the hell are christmas crackers?...
What the hell are christmas crackers?
...
[ external link ]
christmas crackers= the peculiar ...
christmas crackers= the peculiar madness you experience after hanging round with your extended family for more than 55 mins
I got two musical clapper things... ...
I got two musical clapper things... been driving people up the walls with them... unusally good for Christmas crackers.
I got this joke - Bo Peep - Help ...
I got this joke -
Bo Peep - Help I've lost my sheep!
Bystander - How did you lose them?
Bo Peep - I had a 'crook' with me.
Mwah. Mwah. Mwaaaahhhhhh.
Why did the Jelly Baby go to ...
Why did the Jelly Baby go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie.
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready - Teddy - GO!
They're way funnier when you've had a few Pink Chardon's with your cuzzies...
There would be a real market for 'Adult Christmas Crackers'- keep the crepe paper crown inside, but add a little more gunpowder, a hard out dirty joke and a plastic sex toy.
heh. i never got christmas crackers, ...
heh. i never got christmas crackers, but i got their contents for christmas from my grandma :S present included...
*a white plastic bow that looked like it was supposed to be a ring, but would never fit on anyone's finger except a baby's
*a miniscule packet of paper playing cards, about the size of your thumbnail
*a coin shaped plastic thing with a clown face- with little balls that dont move covered in clear plastic
*party hat (woot)
*a tiny plastic purple strawberry
I'm not sure what they're uses are :S Who thinks of these things?!
This one almost killed Christmas ...
This one almost killed Christmas breakfast.
Q: How do you get two whales in a car?
A: Over the Severn Bridge
Everyone just stared around blankly until I figured out it was meant to be taken as "how do you get TO WALES BY CAR"
You get shyte jokes like that...anyone ...
You get shyte jokes like that...anyone can make them up.