Are you crazy? Okay, if people want to drink beers in palmy, they have their reasons. Respect them. That's what a friend would do.

There are no great clubs in Palmy. At all. Zilch. The main student hang outs are the Fitz, located on Fitzherbert Avenue across from Pack n save. And at three o'clock, usually on a tuesday, they venture to Bootleggers, where the beer tastes like shit and probably is. There is a bar called Scarfies, used to be called Old Railway and the beer is almost as good as booties though I think they just scrape the spillage off the floors and add water. Hmmm, good beer. And usually its commomn practice to trudge to and fro across the muddy railway land to the original Fat ladies arms - a good place to hang out for a fight or have sex with drunken biker ho's.
For fights with bouncers, barmen and drunken teenage girls, try highflyers located in the Square (aptly named for its remarkable resemblence of a square except its filled with grass and trees. This is a Palmerston North landmark and is not to be knocked in front of the locals) or the loaded hog, which has a remarkable intake of around three to four punters a night.
If you want to kick back, try the celtic on broadway. Next door is the all bar three with its drink price ranging from around three dollars, is exceptional. The enviroment is lively and they play hip hop music.
Palmerston North is also proud to host a number of all night Lounge Bars where you can hang out, play pool and have sex with questionable women for a set price. For the whereabouts of such classy establishments, just look for an elderly gentleman in a long coat.
Nowadays it has a sign but you'll notice it for it's infamous green neon. It is called Rendesvous. A top of the line restaurant, poker bar where all the Asian students hang out. Can be a lot of fun.
Diablos is the only dance place, really, and it's dance floor is as big as your lounge. But its okay enough.
As well is the Cobb which hosts an upstairs bar as well with pool and a generally pleasant dance crowd - only if you enjoy eighties material but its fun enough.

Oh, and last of all is Firecats. A seedy strip joint. Novelty wears off soon enough and the crowd consists of drunken bachelor parties and lesbians (well, that's what they told me). If it's any consellation, it's a tad more interesting than Mermaids - the dancers tend to yawn less.

In between are just your average chum places where you can drink, have pleasant conversations, or dance (Uno - underground). The Grand is the best place but people haven't cottened on to it yet. I say this because they're lovely.

cheers bro, i wasn't expecting such an entertaining answer...

you seem to know a lot about it ;-)