There was a time when nzmusic.com was blessedly troll-free, but those days are gone. However, the emerging breed of nzmusic troll has certainly added colour to our otherwise white-grey-and-blue site. I would now like to pay tribute to the best of the worst.

1. lena o - noone had heard the word troll until lena o logged in. 70-something-year-old black american woman, contemporary music's best-kept secret, advisor to the stars, who now has an axe to grind. Widely believed to be the creation of Dankenstein Mañetto of Voom, but neither party have ever confirmed or denied the rumours. Whatever the truth, nzmusic wouldn't be the same without her.

Notorious for making up rude puns from peoples' user names. Surprisingly effective, this is probably the most singularly irritating insult ever. However, since lena o, noone has been able to quite pull it off with such panache.

2. hollis - An institution in his own right, the first of the celebrity who-the-fuck-is... puzzles. hollis spent most his time complaining bluntly about kiwi bands, and personally insulting regular members and logged-in musicians, and the rest being attacked by people who knew who he was (and some who didn't), attributing sour grapes. hollis does, in fact, move in the same social circle as a fair number of nzm's older skool, and most of them love him. For the record.

3. Saul_Hudson - Renowned for his malicious harassment of blindspott fans. After a sudden turnaround, it was rumoured he'd received a warning. Since then, he's turned to remarkably effective bare-faced sarcasm, mistaken by most new members as sincerity, much to the entertainment of older members who knew him back in the day.

4. SychoGrandpa - Rode in on lena o's wave. 80-something-year-old musician from Chile. Has his own band, the Seniors Musicians, who have yet to tour these shores. Sychograndpa spends much of his time shouting about how much he hates everyone. Conjures up visions of Abraham Simpson.

5. Lucifer_Sam - A more benign troll primarily due to the two-dimensional nature of his technique, which involves writing the same tirades over and over again. All rants must include at least two of the following key phrases: imperialism, Slutney, WINZ, rice-fields, peasants, or many lashings of electric wire. After complaining a lot over deleted posts, Lucifer_Sam finally countered the new moderator invasion by starting some really interesting topics.

Honorable mentions

danthetto - for obvious reasons.
batbat - will make a perfectly respectable troll once he stops whinging about his posts being deleted.
tclak - troll-lover. Eggs them on.
rdor - not strictly a troll, but he manages to make every opinion sound inflammatory.
BillyMarilli - lewd, mildly condescending, wickedly funny. Wouldn't be surprised if Billy was one of lena o's three helpers.

So - have I missed anyone?