everyone knows that often musicians speak a different language to the rest of us. i think it might be time for us to compile a dictionary! let me share some of the things i've picked up on my travels:
9pm - means 10pm or later, especially when used after the words "the gig starts at"
months - musicians seem to get confused when it comes to timeframes. "january" often means "april" etc. if you ever hear someone in a band say "the album comes out in march" or something similar, as a rule of thumb add one month per band member to figure out the actual release date!
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There must be like 50 members of Guns ...
There must be like 50 members of Guns 'n Roses then :P
Mike
exception: any band fronted by someone ...
exception: any band fronted by someone called "axl".
no no, you'll probably find that there ...
no no, you'll probably find that there has been about 50 members gone through guns 'n' roses since the romours of the new album.
When rehearsing a new song: "Let's ...
When rehearsing a new song: "Let's take it from that weird bit after the bridge"
"What weird bit after the bridge?"
After many minutes of bantering this almost always see you starting the song again.
So in summary: "Let's take it from that weird bit after the bridge" can be translated as: "From the top!".
A few quiets before the gig The ...
A few quiets before the gig
The foldback was really bad
I didn't realise what was in that biscuit
Yeh it's totally cool they said we could help ourselves to their rider
Band practise starts at 12o'clock
I'll hook you guy's up with some petrol money
I'd really like to thank ___________ weren't they great
<b>Practice is at 3pm, okay?</b> means ...
Practice is at 3pm, okay? means the singer and bass player will turn up at 3pm, the drummer will still be in bed, and the guitarists will forget there is practice and go out, despite that practice is at their house.
Let's downtune to A means "I can't play guitar and need to hide it"
Are YOU in tune? means "I'M not in tune"
I can agree with that last one.... ...
I can agree with that last one.... wheres my tuner gone.
RIDER: support bands beer BACKLINE: ...
RIDER: support bands beer
BACKLINE: support bands gear
SOUNDMAN: one of the guys that works at the bar, isn't it?
DRUM FILL: where they dump the bodies of dead drummers.
FIX IT IN THE MIX: when your engineers to shit to get a good sound.
PRESS KIT: the only opportunity to lie your arse off.
REHEARSAL: just another excuse to get drunk.
BAND MEETING: yet another opportunity to get drunk!!
IMPROVISIATION: smoking weed before the gig.
SUPPORT BAND: roadies.
REVIEWERS: the guy that doesn't show up to your gig but writes about it. or the guy that throws your cd in the bin and writes about it.
GREEN ROOM: where you go to smoke pot before you "improvise".
DJ'S: reptilian shapeshifters.
GUARANTEE: what you owe the bar at the end of the night.
"WE'LL PACK OUT AT 11AM THE NEXT DAY": means well into the other bands soundcheck the next day.
"WE'LL PACK OUT TONIGHT": means we're stealing the support bands gear.
FLOAT:"no-one came to our gig last night, so we want to borrow some change."
DOORPERSON:someone who has a bigger doorlist than the band.
BREAKING EVEN: means the soundguys not getting paid. and neither are the bands for that matter.
b-dogg
a band that is advertised to kick off ...
a band that is advertised to kick off at 9pm but stars at 10pm must have a reasonable reason why they didnt start on time, else they be condenmed as "new people"
// a reasonable reason why they didnt ...
// a reasonable reason why they didnt start on time
you obviously have never been to a gig and don't know anyone in a band.
That is such a convention. Even when ...
That is such a convention. Even when they say "No, we really really will start at 9 pm" things start late. I've only been to two such gigs in my time where it did start at 9 pm (to be fair, it was 9.30). Generally, when they say they will start at 10pm, it means 10.45 - 11 pm and even then there will be a good hour break between bands at midnight ...
"Ill go set up" - ill go out the back ...
"Ill go set up" - ill go out the back and have a joint while you do it for me
In regards to the "start time" thing, ...
In regards to the "start time" thing, it has come to the point where the audience doesn't even expect the band to start until after they say they will and as a band that does stick to our start times we have had a number of gigs where people have turned up 1 hour after our set and asked "so when are you guys on?" It's damn frustrating.
So yeah, it's now at the point where many bands stall simply because they are waiting for their audience to arrive because the audience has not believed the band's claims that the show will start at x time.
I guess bands, like us, that start on time just have to advertise and make sure people know that the show REALLY starts at the time on the ad.
that's like advertising "hey! we're a ...
that's like advertising "hey! we're a bunch of uptight geeks who take ourselves waaaaay too seriously"
I haven't experienced this first hand, ...
I haven't experienced this first hand, but I hear that in London gigs on school nights usually end at a reasonable time so that people can a) catch the tube home before they stop running and b) get a good night's sleep.
How nice!
What do you call a musician without a ...
What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
(those who can't make music write about it instead)