Step 1: Learn these snob vocabulary terms:
Sellout---any popular band that was once unpopular.
Poseur---anyone who likes a sellout. Alternatively, it could mean someone who
has not been a fan of a band as long as you.
Underground—Excellent
Commercial---Evil
Sounds like…meets….---as in, “Band X sounds like Band Y meets Band Z.” This
means Band X sounds nothing like either Band Y or Band Z. Example: “I love
Moby! He sort of sound like Pantera meets Alanis Morrisette.”
Lo-fi, indie, nu-metal, poppy, retro, anarchist, authentic, awesome,
infectious, experimental---terms with no meaning that can be applied to
almost anything. Use as often as possible.
Step 2: Familiarize yourself with these bands;
The Pixies
The Velvet Underground
Sonic Youth
Beck
Fugazi
You must love these bands. If you don’t, then you are not cool.
Step 3: Familiarize yourself with these bands;
Goo Goo Dolls
Blink 182
Limp Bizkit
The Strokes
Linkin Park
You must hate these bands. If you don’t, then you are not cool.
Step 4: Familiarize yourself with these bands;
Nirvana
Tool
Radiohead
Metallica
The Beatles
The Who
R.E.M.
Pearl Jam
Moby
The Beastie Boys
You are allowed to have your own opinion on these bands, but they must be
expert opinions, backed up by absolute proof that your theory is correct. For
example “Nirvana is a good band, but they aren’t Pixies good. Too poppy.
Just listen to Incesticide, and you’ll see that their songwriting
capabilities are far inferior, despite their best efforts.” You should be
able to name every one of their songs, albums, concerts and members. You must
also like their first albums far better than their last albums. If you don’t,
then you are not cool.
Step 5:
Discover at least 5 bands that no one has ever heard of. Memorize them, and
brag to other music snobs about how great they are and how you saw them in
concert, and how you are the first to know about them. I, personally, was a
System of a Down fan even before they released their first, self titled
album. I can now simultaneously mock other so-called SOAD poseur fans who had
barely heard of them before “Chop Suey!” feel superior to them, AND despise
SOAD for being sellouts to the Man.
Step 6:
Realize that every other aspiring music snob is trying to do the same thing
as you, and find unknown bands to become fans of. Therefore, you must
familiarize yourself with every band that has ever existed. Then, when
someone says to you, “I saw this band Queens of the Stone Age, who you have
probably never heard of, in concert, and they were awesome! Their self titled
album is great!”, you can say “You only know their self titles album? I’ve
been a QOTSA fan ever since their first EP! Poseur.”
Step 7:
If you abbreviate the name of a band for no reason, you are obviously
knowledgeable about this band, and are not one to be messed with. When you
refer to And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead as AYWKUBTTOD, and
actually pronounce it correctly, it is immediately clear that your knowledge
of the band is immense.
Step 8:
Create your own genres when referring to music. It’s really easy, here are
some examples:
Rapmetalcore
Ambientoid Technotic Trance
Austro-Zimbabwean Crazed Drumming
The Cosmic Super Happy Retro Sound
The Nu-Reggae Movement
Try to fit every type of your music into your genre, so it encompasses all
recorded music.
Step 9:
Start a band. It doesn’t matter if you are not talented…that shouldn’t
hinder your chances of getting on MTV, in theory. But you don’t want to get
on MTV. You don’t even really want to write or perform music. You just want
to be able to say you are part of a band, one far superior to every other
band ever. You should also (www.aqualung.net) promote your band
(www.aqualung.net) relentlessly. (www.aqualung.net)
Step 10:
Keep in mind that you are the world’s resident musical expert. No one knows
more than you, and no one should even dare challenge you. You are a force to
be reckoned with. You are a cool music snob.
Delicious
Digg
Reddit
Facebook
Google
Technorati
// The Beatles // You must also like ...
// The Beatles
// You must also like their first albums far better than their last albums.
i thought that it was more cool to like the beatles later stuff?
// You must also like their first ...
// You must
also like their first albums far better than their last albums
that could also read.
you must like their album which sold the least amount of copies.
ie .. pearl Jam "no code"... the pearl jam album that it is deemed cool to like because it sold so poorly.
No pearl jam is cool to like. opps i ...
No pearl jam is cool to like.
opps i am bad :)
I'm gonna have to run with No Code ...
I'm gonna have to run with No Code being my favourite Pearl Jam album... I appreciate the intimate feeling of the recording, Lo Fi brilliance, and the purity of the songs.
(Snob still in training)
Blink, by your definition Binaural ...
Blink, by your definition Binaural would be the "coolest" PJ album. I always thought Ten was the critics choice because most people have only heard the first two and a few tracks off the third. And everybody knows PJ went way too commercial on their second album and the third one's just a bunch of beery anthems that are popular with rugby heads isn't it?
ahhh binaural.........that's a ...
ahhh binaural.........that's a forgettable album:) 2 or so years old and i couldn't even remember it, i even have a copy..the warehouse $2.95.
so is binaural the coolest??? i don't know, i'm not a snob...yeah right.
//No pearl jam is cool to like. yeah ...
//No pearl jam is cool to like.
yeah but liking something thats not cool to like is way cooler than cool
//opps i am bad :)
not bad just slightly up your own arse
ahhhh benjamin..........pearl jam make ...
ahhhh benjamin..........pearl jam make me want to cut myself it is that bad. Riot act what a bunch of fucking rich hollywood fucks. They killed the ninties, they killed grunge. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't kill kurt cobain.
Up my arse? no up yours and your mummas. :)
you'll hate me then andoru. i'm going ...
you'll hate me then andoru. i'm going to australia to see them.
nah...i was going anyway, just happened that they were playing when i was over there, so i got some tickets, should be a great show, hopefully they kill new-grunge as well.
sorry...nu-grunge...
sorry...nu-grunge
//They killed the ninties, they killed ...
//They killed the ninties, they killed grunge... blah blah your dogma is so lame
true riot act isn't their best work, but they've a collection of great songs that make your pissy ranting's sooooooooo insignificant
calm calm calmness people! remember ...
calm calm calmness people!
remember the whole point of this ... (point?) it's all subjective. we see a lot of opinions here, and we just gotta all remember that it's all opinion. one man's piss is another man's rantings, but it's all opinion, so it doesn't really matter in the end. it's just that sometimes they're entertaining, but we all just gotta remember that they're perspective truths.
i really didn't want to get philosophical today. or get all Guidance Counsellor on your asses.
can someone who's actually listened to ...
can someone who's actually listened to Riot Act (not just the radio played single), and doesnt/or does like it comment on its pros and cons please, how it compares to their past work, etc. I'm sick of this pansy-assed 'they suck' argument with no backing argument, or some BS about them killing grunge (grunge killed grunge). It's like people are even afraid to admit they could possibly like something new by the band (it's uncool man).
my opinion:
I've listened to it a few times now and I think it is damn good. "I am Mine" has grown on me and is one of my favs off it, Eddy Vedder really uses his voice effectively throughout the whole album, and although there are a cpl songs that sound like 'classic' and past PJ albums, a lot of the stuff is quite a departure in my opinion. 'You Are' is quite different with a bit of electronic sound in it, I read it was written by the drummer. Most of the songs focus on voice, guitar and lyrics though, and there's a great political song aimed at GW of the USA called 'Bushleager'
PJ has always played for themselves and their fans, they dont strike me as being in it for commercial success, or they wouldnt have spent a lot of time fighting a monolith like TicketMaster, nor allow the easy recording of bootlegs at their concerts, they dont see the need to release a music video for every song, nor would they release albums like this, which are not necessarily going to be commercial hits.
That's my opinion and why. Can I hear someone else's and why?
just listening now again, 'Love Boat ...
just listening now again, 'Love Boat Captain', and 'Crop-Duster', other gooduns.
Benjamin you have alot of hostility ...
Benjamin you have alot of hostility built up towards me. Is it because of that CD you sent me?
I never liked pearl jam. My big brother ...
I never liked pearl jam. My big brother forced it on my when i was 9. So i cant comment.
i just borrowed it from a friend this ...
i just borrowed it from a friend this evening "squared" i will have my first listen tomorrow and give my verdict..the person who i borrowed it from ....a HUGE!!!! PJ fan doesn't like it.
for sure let me know blink. I think ...
for sure let me know blink. I think this one may require a few listens, though I actually liked it first time through. Other reviews I've read by a big PJ fan said he hated it first listen, but now rates it as one of his favs? so go figure. I've also read fans of ten will not like this at all, but fans of binaural will, not sure on that one. Anyway, yep. keen to hear another informed opinion, even if it does disagree. Cheers.
you can ...
you can now
http://www.nzmusic.com/news_more.cfm?i=1163
i've got no hostility toward you ...
i've got no hostility toward you andoru, i thought i'd just serve you back some of your own medicine for a change.
it's easy to give the impression that your overly agressive when it's just in the written form you can't see my wry smile as type this shit up hahaha.
that CD has been well updated now.
Somebody please put Vedder out of his ...
Somebody please put Vedder out of his misery!
The world will be a better place for it . . .
Ahhh thats cool as long as it is done ...
Ahhh thats cool as long as it is done with a smile
cool i'd love to hear it.
give me the gun tclak ill do it.
Heh, funny. Was it off a website? If ...
Heh, funny. Was it off a website? If so, mind shareing?
it's popped up on a couple of music ...
it's popped up on a couple of music lists i belong to ... i haven't seen it on a website as yet, but i'm sure it'll be found out there. sounds like it's written from personal experience ...
hehe, I think Andoru follows this ...
hehe, I think Andoru follows this guide, haha
Sorry cant stand the pixies or beck ...
Sorry cant stand the pixies or beck dispite my friends best efforts.
Though i hear the new beck album is amazing. i dont believe the hype. He is as bad as radiohead.
Nothing against his music (as with ...
Nothing against his music (as with radiohead). I was meaning whinging about big corporations yet being signed to sony or the label or what ever.
aghh...dont like the pixies?!?!?!?! i ...
aghh...dont like the pixies?!?!?!?! i dont understand
yeah i know. Everyone says that. I ...
yeah i know. Everyone says that.
I love nirvana. I mean i am going to get shot for that i know it. But you know.
The pixies i think went a bit over my head when i was 15. I got given sufer rosa which steve albini did because as ian says he is god. But not still a hit and a miss.
I think i am just dumb and stupid.
haha...well never mind - i love Nirvana ...
haha...well never mind - i love Nirvana aswell
The new Beck album is good... And ...
The new Beck album is good...
And the music snob thing is correct on far too many counts to be comfortable... so I'm gonna ignore it. It isn't bang on, though...
The other thing is to own 800 CDs that very few people have ever heard of...
And Steve Albini is God... Oooh ooh, and I heard a rumour about In Utero. Apparently they recorded it (Steve on production,) and gave it to the record company, which proceeded to tidy it up and make it nicer before releasing it (and as you'll know... the album is far from tidy and nice.) So... out there somewhere is the original Steve Albini produced In Utero... like the holy grail of Nirvana stuff...
Would it be fair to say Steve Albini is ...
Would it be fair to say Steve Albini is to music as Stanley Kubrick is to movies?
I remember reading an interview with him in Q or Rolling Stone about the recording of In Utero. The story went that the record company wanted to remix a few tracks and the band "agreed", but Albini thought they were finished so he refused to do it.
I can see the Kubric thing... Steve ...
I can see the Kubric thing...
Steve did some good shit with Big Black and Rapeman (terrible, awful band name)... and of course the brilliant Shellac :) And taking HDU to All Tomorrow's Parties was a nice touch.
Good man.
//Would it be fair to say Steve Albini ...
//Would it be fair to say Steve Albini is to music as Stanley Kubrick is to movies?
thats very very very true joe.
//Rapeman (terrible, awful band name)
Come on man! It fucking rules. haha. Stop being so PC. I have only recently gotten into rapeman in the last few months. Dude it rocks.
About in utero: it shows infact what a hypocrite kurt cobain was. As in he fought in his head pop or punk. He always choose pop.
Rapeman is a good band, but I don't ...
Rapeman is a good band, but I don't like the name, dude. The only album I've heard is Songs About Fucking... it is very cool.
As the contracted 'producer' of 'In ...
As the contracted 'producer' of 'In Utero' Albini was responsible for the making of the record and as such decides when it is done. He deemed it finished when after he spent two days mixing the whole record, but obviously Geffen thought differently as they didn't want him to do it in the first place. As I'm aware only two or three songs on the record were remixed (by Scott Litt, REM producer) and Albini was gracious enough to allow this as the band were placed in a very difficult position. I think In Utero is a devastating album as it sounds like a band at the end of their teether with hopelessness and exhaustion.
Perfect...............
Perfect............
[ http://$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.com ]
when are you guys touring the us, mr ...
when are you guys touring the us, mr tomble?
Oh my god, you're on to me. What ...
Oh my god, you're on to me. What other possible reason could a midwestern american girl have for digging NZ music?
It gives me loads of street cred with the music snobs here, but I guess I can't ever go to New Zealand or I'll be just another tiny fish in the pond.
All you need to know about being a ...
All you need to know about being a music snob was (almost) perfectly covered in 'High Fidelity'. Now, that was scaringly close to many people I have come into contact with (and possibly me).
The Slowboat records team in Wellington ...
The Slowboat records team in Wellington do a very good High Fidelity show... Older guy, geeky guy and obnoxious fat guy all included :) Good shit.
And goddamn, Jack Black's Belle And ...
And goddamn, Jack Black's Belle And Sebastian dig was painful to experience...
Shut up you poseurs!...
Shut up you poseurs!
LOL@Koe! i'm surprised no one else ...
LOL@Koe!
i'm surprised no one else got there first ... LOLOL
your mumma...
your mumma
wow guys this is a pretty long thread :o...
wow guys this is a pretty long thread :o
Andoru, watch "Fight Club" and then ...
Andoru, watch "Fight Club" and then tell me you don't like the pixies. I couldn't get that fuckin' song outta my head for weeks, it truly messed with my mind, could be cause I watched fight club at about 2am though.
[ external link ]
anarchist-retro-nu-uber-metal is really ...
anarchist-retro-nu-uber-metal is really the genre the pixies fit in, its PLAINLY obvious, and anyone who disgrees with me is an musical imbecile.
where is my mind is soooo haunting, and when ever i hear it, gives me chills down my spine...
i don't think the pixies and nirvana sound much a like at all, but i have to say i agree, i enjoy nirvana more...
damn you elitists! :P...
damn you elitists! :P
Though i hear the new beck album is ...
Though i hear the new beck album is amazing. i dont believe the hype. He is as bad as radiohead. Nothing against his music (as with radiohead). I was meaning whinging about big corporations yet being signed to sony or the label or what ever.
To quote Anduro. I SINCERILY HOPE you are taking the piss out of yourself, because you sound absolutely stupid. Sorry to say, but it's true.