Well, I'm up in the wee hours again, embracing my night fetish. I really love night time. I always have. I love the silence and the sense that, although the streets are quiet and the lights are all out, there are things going on... Quiet, secret, wonderful things, that I, in my own way, am participating in by being awake and doing quiet wonderful things of my own. The new batch of songs continues to evolve and I am at the point where I am ready to record them in my own amatuer way, so I can have a listen and face my own worst critic and make changes. I guess that phase leads to more recordings, and then more, hopefully ending up in a situation where they can be recorded well. I think I would like to work with Jody and Zed on these ones, but in order for them to take me seriously I need to put in more work and make sure that the songs are all they can be. I am really just glad to have new songs. I am writing all the songs that I tried so hard NOT to write when I was trying to make music that would appeal to current sensibilities. Now, like other times in my life, I am writing purley for myself and my sanity and with a bit of luck it will ring true. I am still working on my Zebra/Barcode themed triptych and am only really online as I'm waiting for paint to dry so I can start on the white bits. I really love working in black and white. I go through alot of black biros. Like, by the box full. I am working on this idea that the final painting will be a cartoon of this westie looking rock chick checkout girl, scanning a Zebra at the supermarket and then informing this conscious, fashion dreadlock, hippy type greeny character, that he's a lucky chap because its the last Zebra in stock. Probably sounds like a bunch of bollocks, but it makes sense to me. Art, imitating technology, imitating nature, imitating lfe (sic).Vader is really good and, despite a handful of bad choices and some stress of the legal kind, so am I. I really love spending time with him. And the other kids too, but HE really needs me at the moment and that feels good to be able to be there for him. He is SO beautiful and precious and perfect. When he yawns and stretches his little body out he looks like a tiger and it makes me loose my breath for a moment. He is a very cute boy. I went to a gig last night. I feel, um, underwhelmed. I guess I am used to a different callibre. However there were a couple of real moments and they belonged to a man I am lucky enough to be involved with so I guess that makes me Mr Smartypants, and another guy that I dont know but I am hoping he will email me or something as I would love to hear more. The other bands were really good, I mean there is no one thing I could fault them on, the sound wasnt the best and the crowd was pretty tame but those things cant be helped. I just didnt see anything that really shook me by the balls and said FUCKEN LISTEN TO ME!!! Like I said, I guess I am blessed with having seen and known some really talented people and I am used to seeing people really put their hearts and egos and bodies on the line. There are no second chances on stage. Your last gig doesnt matter, your next gig doesnt matter, there is only that moment and if you waste it by letting your head or your expectations get in the way, then you are a fool. Dont get me wrong, I am often a fool. I had a smoke last night, on top of a few beers and totally made a fuckwit out of myself in front of a guy I REALLY wanted to meet and talk about his music and perhaps begin a friendship/mentorship kinda relationship. For the record Ziggy, if that is your real name; my name is Mark and I love new zealand music, particulary (it seems) the kind you seem to have an ease with that plainly staggers me. Anyway, as for being a fool on stage, I guess I am pretty confident and at ease with what I need to get out of, and put in to, a live performance, after many many years of trial and error. But I did do my fair share of preening and generally putting in a half arsed job of delivering what people, and my songs deserved in my time and am in no way innocent of some of the crimes I witnessed last night. (Picture me with black vynil pants, a tiny black fender t-shirt, bleached hair, a fender strat and a swagger, playing to 5 people in an R&B reggae band.). Its a learning curve and the truth of it is, if we as artists dont have places to learn these lessons, then we wont learn them. I guess thats the difference between where I live and other places I have been. There is not quite as much scope to play your music and learn those things that make a musician into a artist. BUT, that is changing. Sheesh, I'm philosophical tonight. Seattle and I and maybe Maz, if she wants to come, are going camping this weekend, just us, an open fire, a guitar and some fishing rods. I have been yearning to do it with them for ages and, for some reason, today I just thought "Well, why dont you just fucken DO IT" man, every now and then life seems so simple. Awhi and Te Aroha are great. I dont see Awhi as much as I would like, but I am, at last, making a real effort with her and I think she is learning who I am and that she can trust me. Funnily enough, I think Te Aroha is kinda experiencing the same thing, but almost ten years apart. She is in Dunedin on holiday with Jasmine Tainui-Fountain, T.A is staying at my grandmas' house and I'm really excited for her because its kinda her first real big step out into the world as a young adult. I told her to go to arc and see some music. Dunedin is a really cool town to explore at that age. Fuck, I better tell her to tune in to Radio One too! Anyway, I'll end this epic piece of written word with a small yet humourous anecdote. A few weeks ago, Lydia and I took vader for a walk in his pram to our favourite playground. It started to rain and we headed home, along the busiest road we live near, during rush hour. Lydia knows not to cross the road by herself, so she raced ahead on her bike and, like a good girl, stopped at the zebra crossing. However, I was still a few hundred meters behind her pushing a pram and so for the 5 minutes it took me to catch up, EVERY FUCKING CAR stopped for her at the crossing as she, obliviously singing to herself, waited for us. It was so funny that one little girl could cause so much traffic chaos and not have a single clue. The looks she was giving the people in the cars was priceless. Anyway, that is all. Happy easter.

Mark Tupuhi
St. Lucy
Amy Racecar Fan

P/s - fuck, I almost forgot, me and Matt Yearbook are playing at Colosseum in Tauranga on the 18th of April, if you are in the area, come on down, hell, bring Phil Rudd if ya want!
Also, its a really cool place, great P.A, no door takes if you dont want and generally a fee, maybe some of you Auckland kids wanna come on down for a weekend? Maybe do Brewers on a friday and Coloseum on a sat? Beds and sofas always at my place, so long as my names on the door and you can promise me a lttle kiss of Brendan Smythes puckery arse...
ALSO, Hamiltons' infamous CIRCLE JERK is in its 3rd year and promises to be as good as ever now that Contact have got right in behind it (like Peter Ellis at a wiggles gig.), its on the last saturday of May, well timed for the climax of Auckland/Wellington Music Month.
www.myspace.com/stlucy