You are not yet ready to learn that, Grasshopper. Start by tackling a smaller question, perhaps like "Why did I leave out the apostrophe in this thread title, when it really should have one in there?"
We are born, we grow up, go to school to get an education, we get an education to get a job, we get a job to earn money, we earn money to live, we live so we can die, ( just generalising of course...)
Whats the meaning of life?
Well, why do we live?
In short, we live to die, ultimately thats where evertyone ends up in
The Pearl Jam song sums it up nicely " I know I was born and I know that I'll die, the in between is mine"
The meaning of life is what you make it I guess, its up to you...
i think it's the other way around - to like others.
it kinda all connects to being godlike - if we like others, and connect with others, we learn. we make mistakes, we learn. all we need to do is understand others, not necessarily agree with them, but at least work out where they're coming from. don't even need to judge.
that sort of stuff feels good. makes us feel godlike, as if at some point we're gonna understand Everything.
i think the meaning of life is to understand Everything. doesn't matter about the purpose of it, or any kind of pay off. the process is its own reward. is for me anyway. but then again, my heroes are all people who stuffed their heads with as much trivia and seemingly unrelated facts and figures as they could, and then ended up attempting to make a big shiny machine system out of it.
//i think it's the other way around - to like others.
that's spot on. People worry so much about how other people affect them, but really you have to work toward being self-sufficient. I think you need to come to a point where you realise it doesn't matter who wrongs you, or who disappoints you, or who taxes you too highly or anything, what matters is how you treat them.
// I think it's more a desire not to wrong anyone, dissapoint anyone, or tax anyone too highly.
//....to have relationships without being needy or pathetic, which is impossible.
so...basically self-sufficience, and making sure you treat people right then?
...And just because you haven't achieved that yet doesn't mean it's impossible.
..although I think we're just suggesting answers to "what should be your goal in life", which is a different issue entirely. But I think the more compelling question is actually "what is the meaning of zrbt?"
No it's not possible because relationships always involve dependency, even friendships, that can't be the ideal cause nobodies ever going to be self sufficient, no wonder your past 'beus's (scary that I remember this stuff eh?) never lasted if you don't mind me saying, cause your either so repulsed be peoples weak sides or too scared to show yours.
//...And just because you haven't achieved that yet doesn't mean it's impossible.//
oh and thankthee for this, you should just say "fuck off saddo whos trying to establish some sort of thing here". I 've met people like this, it's not until you really get to know them that you realize how fucking humiliating it is talking to them, life is one big *sigh* for them, others are to be tolerated, because they are 'nice', and full of repressed disdain, trying your best to not be to taxing doesn't work, cause you always feel ike you've stamped on a rose after a conversation.
//oh and thankthee for this, you should just say "fuck off saddo whos trying to establish some sort of thing here".
I really don't understand what you mean. I just meant that you've fobbed off wholesale the idea that relationships don't have to be needy and pathetic; I think that's a mistake. Also, there's a big difference between interdependence and "needy and pathetic".
As for my past relationships, most of them failed because I was being needy and pathetic. Oddly enough, now that I'm satisfied that I could have a relationship that is neither, I'm also pretty content not being in a relationship.
//big_stu, I must disagree with you on one point; speaking as a divorcee I'd never ever consider my marriage to be a mistake on any terms.//
And this shows me where your coming from, your marriage was a valuable life lesson, where you learnt to explore your inner being, discover yourself - in the process of getting sick of another person. Not a sacred lifelong commitment.
Bis Stu's post..... maybe if people weren't so focused on their own happiness they would be ...happier. Instead of each partner constantly assessing how happy they are..."does this person mstill make me happy, am I still attracted to them". It's what you give, that's going to make you happy in the long run. What you get from that post is "yeah its been a rocky road, but i'm reasonably happy in the place I am right now, so I'll continue with this person based that, and if and when this is no longer the case then it might be time to move on". That kind of thing makes me almost agree with arranged marriage, cause those people seem happy, they acknowledge that love is as much a decision as an emotion, their focussed on values, rather than just on the other. It makes sense, take yor eyes off the prize for a while and the prize starts to look better, but if your trying to go deeper and deeper into the other person it inevitably leads to disdain.
you are gold rdor
as for this...
//women, you're so pure and nieve, you keep thinking that what men want in the beggining is similiar to what you want, that's makes us uneasy.
i reckon just take it easy, even gay people don't always want the same thing in a relationship, you don't need to discuss or let the partner know the specidifc or what you're after, don't treat then like santa and they won't do it for you, all that really matters is that both paties are getting what they need,
//, all that really matters is that both paties are getting what they need,//
you now it would be easy to believe, we'd all feel a lot better, but lust gets in the way of real intimacy. It's about using someone as a masturbation aid. Maybe that 's not so bad on your lonesome, but entering into a relationship with another person, with this in mind, is no good. You can't make love to a whole person whole simultaneuousely doing this. If you could, they be no guilt, no shame.
//You can't make love to a whole person whole simultaneuousely doing this. If you could, they be no guilt, no shame.
rope's right - why fret over flowery ideas of lust and guilt if two (*coff* or more) consenting adults are satisfied with the arrangement? You say that if it was possible to make love to someone that you've wanted to fuck for months then there'd be no guilt, but then you're mortified when we say we don't feel shame or guilt over that, and then proceed to try and convince us that we do.
//It's about using someone as a masturbation aid. Maybe that 's not so bad on your lonesome, but entering into a relationship with another person, with this in mind, is no good.
I hate to break this to you rdor, I would've expected most people to have already covered the birds and the bees, but here it is: in general, the male of the species needs to be aroused to engage in the sex act. Now, I'm pretty sure this involves imagining (or watching) a woman - possibly their significant other, possibly angelina jolie - sitting on their dick. And probably moving around a bit. And head back, moaning and panting, breasts heaving...all that guff. Essentially the female form *is* a masturbation aid. And what better person to turn you on than someone you care about? You think it's preferable to vent your peen fantasising about someone you never intend to get serious with, possibly even meet? rdor, are you wanking over my profile photo??
Man, I'd really love to see the day when some horny girl invites you back to hers and begs you to fuck her up the arse. What would you do? Throw her out in disgust for using you as an object of lust?
I hate the time-difference thing we've got here... re lust/love-
Lust is about a moment, or an action; usually triggered by an arousal of the senses- visual, aural, fragrant, tactile, flavoursome... but it's psychologial too. It's almost always short term stuff- In the moments while you are affected by lust, it dominates your brain and makes you loose your mind, turns you into an animal. Rrrrrraaooowwwww... yes, lust can be purely selfish, but sometimes that's point. Consent is the key word, although some people are aroused by having the boundaries of their consent tested. Lust has many forms. Lust is a many splendid thing.
Love is way bigger, it turns your whole life around, reorganises your priorities, resets your goals- you imagine your future together with that person and all the brilliant stuff life has in store for you both, and you feel safe, secure, warmed-up. You hurt when they hurt, you're happy when they're happy. Blah blah blah blah I could go on all day but you're already tired of this malarky... there's no pain quite like losing love. There's no happiness quite like finding love.
Needy often means to show any weakness at all, any emotion. You hold up impersonal, and by inference mature, as being the ideal. Friendships as a platonic swapping of ideas, do you allot a certain number of hours a week to each of your friends? relationhips as two individulas with mutual goals trying to 'make it work'. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you were probably repulsed when you REALLY got to know the guy(s). That's the nature of some people, as soon as the real guy/woman appears it's yuck.
living in constant fear of people getting to know the real you, what a nightmare.
Most people have trouble enough conducting one romantic relationship at a time; you think they should try for more? Perhaps there are people out there substantial enough to juggle, but at least as far as I'm concerned the Heather model only comes in single-serve portions. I imagine I'm not an isolated case.
lust: a desire to be with someone
love: a desire to be with someone, to the point of not wanting to be with anyone else.
lust is usually the starting point for any relationship (in our society, at any rate), from which love grows. people who are in love often fall in lust with other people, but the love they already feel for their current partner should be sufficient enough to stop the feelings of lust being acted upon. 'Should', being the operative word there. I think what happens with a lot of people is that they feel lust for someone (the grass is greener syndrome), and convince themselves they're actually in love with that person, because they might have lost some of the sexual/romantic aspects of the relationship with their current partner.
thanks iluvtheclean, iluvtheclean. iluvtheclean using that info, i've calculated the greatest love song of all time to be 'tomorrow never knows' by the ringo starrs
//Essentially the female form *is* a masturbation aid//
It soesn't need to be this way, of course arousal is neccessary for men, but that can be based on the desire to unite with someone rather than using them as a talking blow up doll. Often it's not though, and I'm not surprised to hear such a cynical statement from a woman, cause most women, esp if they've been in several realtionships, are to some degree broken by the exprerience, and have just accepted that this is the way men are, sullied, dissapointed.....
no, lust is a pornographic objectification of someone. All us guys are guilty of it, but don't confuse it with love, it is'nt the beginning of anything.
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You are not yet ready to learn that, ...
You are not yet ready to learn that, Grasshopper. Start by tackling a smaller question, perhaps like "Why did I leave out the apostrophe in this thread title, when it really should have one in there?"
the meaning of life, at least as far as ...
the meaning of life, at least as far as human civilization is concerned is;
alcohol
Ahh alcohol, the cause of and solution ...
Ahh alcohol, the cause of and solution to all my problems.
the cause of the solution to your ...
the cause of the solution to your problems
Just thought I should ask....
Just thought I should ask.
We are born, we grow up, go to school ...
We are born, we grow up, go to school to get an education, we get an education to get a job, we get a job to earn money, we earn money to live, we live so we can die, ( just generalising of course...)
Whats the meaning of life?
Well, why do we live?
In short, we live to die, ultimately thats where evertyone ends up in
The Pearl Jam song sums it up nicely " I know I was born and I know that I'll die, the in between is mine"
The meaning of life is what you make it I guess, its up to you...
going to school need not necessarily ...
going to school need not necessarily mean you got an education son
i rEead GoOD...
i rEead GoOD
so am i...
so am i
I could tell you, but then I'd have to ...
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
How ironic!
¿what is the meaning of life?- to be...
¿what is the meaning of life?- to be
To be be liked by others....
To be be liked by others.
licked maybe...
licked maybe
i think it's the other way around - to ...
i think it's the other way around - to like others.
it kinda all connects to being godlike - if we like others, and connect with others, we learn. we make mistakes, we learn. all we need to do is understand others, not necessarily agree with them, but at least work out where they're coming from. don't even need to judge.
that sort of stuff feels good. makes us feel godlike, as if at some point we're gonna understand Everything.
i think the meaning of life is to understand Everything. doesn't matter about the purpose of it, or any kind of pay off. the process is its own reward. is for me anyway. but then again, my heroes are all people who stuffed their heads with as much trivia and seemingly unrelated facts and figures as they could, and then ended up attempting to make a big shiny machine system out of it.
//i think it's the other way around - ...
//i think it's the other way around - to like others.
that's spot on. People worry so much about how other people affect them, but really you have to work toward being self-sufficient. I think you need to come to a point where you realise it doesn't matter who wrongs you, or who disappoints you, or who taxes you too highly or anything, what matters is how you treat them.
I think it's more a desire not to ...
I think it's more a desire not to wrong anyone, dissapoint anyone, or tax anyone too highly.
....to have relationships without being needy or pathetic, which is impossible.
oh and to get other (preferably nice looking and popular) people to like you
// I think it's more a desire not to ...
// I think it's more a desire not to wrong anyone, dissapoint anyone, or tax anyone too highly.
//....to have relationships without being needy or pathetic, which is impossible.
so...basically self-sufficience, and making sure you treat people right then?
...And just because you haven't achieved that yet doesn't mean it's impossible.
..although I think we're just suggesting answers to "what should be your goal in life", which is a different issue entirely. But I think the more compelling question is actually "what is the meaning of zrbt?"
No it's not possible because ...
No it's not possible because relationships always involve dependency, even friendships, that can't be the ideal cause nobodies ever going to be self sufficient, no wonder your past 'beus's (scary that I remember this stuff eh?) never lasted if you don't mind me saying, cause your either so repulsed be peoples weak sides or too scared to show yours.
//...And just because you haven't ...
//...And just because you haven't achieved that yet doesn't mean it's impossible.//
oh and thankthee for this, you should just say "fuck off saddo whos trying to establish some sort of thing here". I 've met people like this, it's not until you really get to know them that you realize how fucking humiliating it is talking to them, life is one big *sigh* for them, others are to be tolerated, because they are 'nice', and full of repressed disdain, trying your best to not be to taxing doesn't work, cause you always feel ike you've stamped on a rose after a conversation.
nnnnooooooooooo...
nnnnooooooooooo
Chin up Son. "older school of life ...
Chin up Son.
"older school of life guys who never went too school", was worth the price of admission.
<offers a little applause> more! ...
more!
foal i'll be replying now
//oh and thankthee for this, you should ...
//oh and thankthee for this, you should just say "fuck off saddo whos trying to establish some sort of thing here".
I really don't understand what you mean. I just meant that you've fobbed off wholesale the idea that relationships don't have to be needy and pathetic; I think that's a mistake. Also, there's a big difference between interdependence and "needy and pathetic".
As for my past relationships, most of them failed because I was being needy and pathetic. Oddly enough, now that I'm satisfied that I could have a relationship that is neither, I'm also pretty content not being in a relationship.
//big_stu, I must disagree with you on ...
//big_stu, I must disagree with you on one point; speaking as a divorcee I'd never ever consider my marriage to be a mistake on any terms.//
And this shows me where your coming from, your marriage was a valuable life lesson, where you learnt to explore your inner being, discover yourself - in the process of getting sick of another person. Not a sacred lifelong commitment.
Bis Stu's post..... maybe if people weren't so focused on their own happiness they would be ...happier. Instead of each partner constantly assessing how happy they are..."does this person mstill make me happy, am I still attracted to them". It's what you give, that's going to make you happy in the long run. What you get from that post is "yeah its been a rocky road, but i'm reasonably happy in the place I am right now, so I'll continue with this person based that, and if and when this is no longer the case then it might be time to move on". That kind of thing makes me almost agree with arranged marriage, cause those people seem happy, they acknowledge that love is as much a decision as an emotion, their focussed on values, rather than just on the other. It makes sense, take yor eyes off the prize for a while and the prize starts to look better, but if your trying to go deeper and deeper into the other person it inevitably leads to disdain.
I honestly can't remember Eddie Murphy ...
I honestly can't remember Eddie Murphy using this line, though I might have picked it up unawares
you are gold rdor as for ...
you are gold rdor
as for this...
//women, you're so pure and nieve, you keep thinking that what men want in the beggining is similiar to what you want, that's makes us uneasy.
i reckon just take it easy, even gay people don't always want the same thing in a relationship, you don't need to discuss or let the partner know the specidifc or what you're after, don't treat then like santa and they won't do it for you, all that really matters is that both paties are getting what they need,
a little respect
//, all that really matters is that ...
//, all that really matters is that both paties are getting what they need,//
you now it would be easy to believe, we'd all feel a lot better, but lust gets in the way of real intimacy. It's about using someone as a masturbation aid. Maybe that 's not so bad on your lonesome, but entering into a relationship with another person, with this in mind, is no good. You can't make love to a whole person whole simultaneuousely doing this. If you could, they be no guilt, no shame.
//rdor, would you like to tell us a ...
//rdor, would you like to tell us a little bit about your relationship history, so that we can understand where you're coming from?
rdor, would you like to tell us a little bit about your relationship history, so that we can understand where you're coming from?
//You can't make love to a whole ...
//You can't make love to a whole person whole simultaneuousely doing this. If you could, they be no guilt, no shame.
rope's right - why fret over flowery ideas of lust and guilt if two (*coff* or more) consenting adults are satisfied with the arrangement? You say that if it was possible to make love to someone that you've wanted to fuck for months then there'd be no guilt, but then you're mortified when we say we don't feel shame or guilt over that, and then proceed to try and convince us that we do.
//It's about using someone as a masturbation aid. Maybe that 's not so bad on your lonesome, but entering into a relationship with another person, with this in mind, is no good.
I hate to break this to you rdor, I would've expected most people to have already covered the birds and the bees, but here it is: in general, the male of the species needs to be aroused to engage in the sex act. Now, I'm pretty sure this involves imagining (or watching) a woman - possibly their significant other, possibly angelina jolie - sitting on their dick. And probably moving around a bit. And head back, moaning and panting, breasts heaving...all that guff. Essentially the female form *is* a masturbation aid. And what better person to turn you on than someone you care about? You think it's preferable to vent your peen fantasising about someone you never intend to get serious with, possibly even meet? rdor, are you wanking over my profile photo??
Man, I'd really love to see the day when some horny girl invites you back to hers and begs you to fuck her up the arse. What would you do? Throw her out in disgust for using you as an object of lust?
Don't bother rdor, I'm not going to ...
Don't bother rdor, I'm not going to be baited by you. You're a sad, pitiful human being.
I hate the time-difference thing we've ...
I hate the time-difference thing we've got here... re lust/love-
Lust is about a moment, or an action; usually triggered by an arousal of the senses- visual, aural, fragrant, tactile, flavoursome... but it's psychologial too. It's almost always short term stuff- In the moments while you are affected by lust, it dominates your brain and makes you loose your mind, turns you into an animal. Rrrrrraaooowwwww... yes, lust can be purely selfish, but sometimes that's point. Consent is the key word, although some people are aroused by having the boundaries of their consent tested. Lust has many forms. Lust is a many splendid thing.
Love is way bigger, it turns your whole life around, reorganises your priorities, resets your goals- you imagine your future together with that person and all the brilliant stuff life has in store for you both, and you feel safe, secure, warmed-up. You hurt when they hurt, you're happy when they're happy. Blah blah blah blah I could go on all day but you're already tired of this malarky... there's no pain quite like losing love. There's no happiness quite like finding love.
yeah I apologise, it was innapropriate ...
yeah I apologise, it was innapropriate to get the that personal.
//You're a sad, pitiful human ...
//You're a sad, pitiful human being//
without doubt
the thing i don't get about love right ...
the thing i don't get about love right right is see love is supposed to be this no-holds-barred infinite forgiving openended ox of a beast and yet
everyone is only supposed to love one person
// everyone is only supposed to love ...
// everyone is only supposed to love one person
romantic love, you mean?
//everyone is only supposed to love one ...
//everyone is only supposed to love one person
one person for their whole lives, or one at a time?
1 at a time+romantic=love...
1 at a time+romantic=love
// 1 at a time+romantic=love I ...
// 1 at a time+romantic=love
I reckon that sounds about right.
I do think, though, that people get lust and love confused at times.
Needy often means to show any weakness ...
Needy often means to show any weakness at all, any emotion. You hold up impersonal, and by inference mature, as being the ideal. Friendships as a platonic swapping of ideas, do you allot a certain number of hours a week to each of your friends? relationhips as two individulas with mutual goals trying to 'make it work'. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you were probably repulsed when you REALLY got to know the guy(s). That's the nature of some people, as soon as the real guy/woman appears it's yuck.
living in constant fear of people getting to know the real you, what a nightmare.
define both...
define both
must be......
must be...
Most people have trouble enough ...
Most people have trouble enough conducting one romantic relationship at a time; you think they should try for more? Perhaps there are people out there substantial enough to juggle, but at least as far as I'm concerned the Heather model only comes in single-serve portions. I imagine I'm not an isolated case.
// Needy often means to show any ...
// Needy often means to show any weakness at all, any emotion.
not in my universe
//but I think you were probably repulsed when you REALLY got to know the guy(s)
no. And frankly I'm stunned that you'd even assume my love life would be characterised by that. If anything it's an insult to the men I've been with.
// define both well, in very (very) ...
// define both
well, in very (very) simple terms...
lust: a desire to be with someone
love: a desire to be with someone, to the point of not wanting to be with anyone else.
lust is usually the starting point for any relationship (in our society, at any rate), from which love grows. people who are in love often fall in lust with other people, but the love they already feel for their current partner should be sufficient enough to stop the feelings of lust being acted upon. 'Should', being the operative word there. I think what happens with a lot of people is that they feel lust for someone (the grass is greener syndrome), and convince themselves they're actually in love with that person, because they might have lost some of the sexual/romantic aspects of the relationship with their current partner.
Something like that, anyway.
//frankly I'm stunned that you'd even ...
//frankly I'm stunned that you'd even assume
Really? I'm not surprised that rdor would assume anything. When he assumes things, he just makes an ass uut of himself.
thanks iluvthclean, using that info, ...
thanks iluvthclean, using that info, i've calculated the greatest love song of all time to be 'tomorrow never knows' by the ringo starrs
sorry that should read: thanks ...
sorry that should read:
thanks iluvtheclean, iluvtheclean. iluvtheclean using that info, i've calculated the greatest love song of all time to be 'tomorrow never knows' by the ringo starrs
that should read: thanks, using that ...
that should read:
thanks, using that info, 'iluvtheclean never knows'.
//Essentially the female form *is* a ...
//Essentially the female form *is* a masturbation aid//
It soesn't need to be this way, of course arousal is neccessary for men, but that can be based on the desire to unite with someone rather than using them as a talking blow up doll. Often it's not though, and I'm not surprised to hear such a cynical statement from a woman, cause most women, esp if they've been in several realtionships, are to some degree broken by the exprerience, and have just accepted that this is the way men are, sullied, dissapointed.....
//lust: a desire to be with ...
//lust: a desire to be with someone
no, lust is a pornographic objectification of someone. All us guys are guilty of it, but don't confuse it with love, it is'nt the beginning of anything.