I am keen to start what will be a highly successful pop band to tour and record from Wellington, New Zealand. If you think that you have what it takes then please do not hesitate to contact me.
To audition you must possess:
- Good looks: ie the right haircut and good presence
- Style: ie wear appropriate 'labels' (especially shoes!!!)
- Musicianship: ATCL or equivalent experience
- Free time: Due to extensive touring committments
- Singing ability: All members are required to have singing ability
Band Instrumentation:
Keyboard, Lead guitar, Rythm Guitar, Bass Guitar, Drums (Brass and string sections as required)
Retainer:
I expect to secure a retainer salary for band members of $5,000 per annum and 10% of the band turnover. Touring will initially be the bands primary income stream. From touring I a expect to recieve $10,000 per month performing up to 6 shows per month.
Band Expectations:
Concentrating mainly on tourist resorts and main centres the band will quickly be able to command regular shows at premium dollars throughout New Zealand and Australia.
Following successful performances the band will have a heavy recording schedule which will lead to CD sales and therefore additional income streams and performance opportunities including cruise ship entertainment.
Band members must be available to rehearse three times per week and be available to tour one week per month as well as fulfill recording obligations.
The Music:
The music will be formulaic but it will do it's job and entertain. People will be able to dance to the strong accompanying rhythms and sing the predictable melodies.
"Everyone will soon be singing these songs whether they want to or not!"
The songs will be proffessionally arranged and will therefore be musically satisfying as the instrumentation will add depth and dimension to otherwise simple music.
Summation:
I won't be in the band becuase I don't meet any of the criteria but I want to get rich!
Alternative music is too hard to get 'out there'.
I am not knocking the people that try, I applaud them, but I don't have what it takes to keep trying and battling year after year.
Instead I propose forming a pop band with an international sound and international presence. Using the income and contacts from the pop band the band members and myself will have the financial security to complete our own personal projects at our leisure.
Feel free to contact me with your ideas and comments or to arrange an audition.
Tane McLeay
mcleayt@brooklynprimary.school.nz
PS: Auditions will commence after the Autumn Stone tour of the South Island returning July 20
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"i want to get rich" this seems the ...
"i want to get rich"
this seems the craziest way to go about it. Why don't you play the stockmarket? I think the odds are much more firmly in your favour.
jesus...
jesus
Why go through the rigmarole of setting ...
Why go through the rigmarole of setting up this band? BRING BACK EN MASSE! They were awesome - Byron Kelleher lookalike, cross-eyed Asian guy, and an assortment of metrosexuals.
Nah, just wait and ...
Nah, just wait and see........................
You should pop up to my classroom one day!
Holy crap. This is actually one of the ...
Holy crap.
This is actually one of the worst things I have ever seen on this site.
Also, I don't think you'll find ...
Also, I don't think you'll find anyone holding ATCL or above willing to waste their time or talent on a money-making scheme like this. They're probably more interested in the enjoyment they get from learning and performing.
There are a ton of lame pop bands out ...
There are a ton of lame pop bands out there who have this exact same idea. Its not exactly revoultionary, problem is, it's harder to succeed in this industry as a pop band then it is a rock band. Touring/production costs are MUCH higher for pop acts and they tend to earn less when they tour.
If Tane was wanting to do this for a laugh, I could see the funny side in it... but to make money? Shit, I won't just eat my hat... I'll eat several hats and a hat of tane's choice if he can manufacture a band which can earn $10k a month through touring.
fuk ur a homo arnt u. since when did ...
fuk ur a homo arnt u. since when did the right hair and shoes make a good song?
Yeah! Metal up your ass! pfft...
Yeah! Metal up your ass! pfft
// fuk ur a homo arnt u.// Cause ...
// fuk ur a homo arnt u.//
Cause like only homo's can make like a pop band, straight people play M . E . T . A . L! (Judas Priest being the exception to the rule...)
I don't know what you mean! But I ...
I don't know what you mean! But I understand that it isn't polite!
I admire your candour, in posting ...
I admire your candour, in posting something like this on this particular site......sort of like requesting Tadpole on bfm.
If I was you, wanting to do the same thing, I'd do it popstars style - get a few financial backers who would appreciate lots of product placement, get on the phone to Touchdown productions and film the whole process from start to finish. From the Idol success, it's clear that people want to watch this shit and there's money to be made. Then, when you have your ideal band together, get a single written by a professional songwriter, film the recording of it, release it, and watch it escalate up the pop charts...albeit briefly......Follow up with an album, milk the shit out of it and head for Rio before it all goes belly up, leaving the members to enjoy a life of hosting Pepsi chart and Treasure Island : Psuedo-celebrity challenge.
Are you saying that I haven't heard ...
Are you saying that I haven't heard Tadpole on bFM????????????? I am sure that I have!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..........................
Dork
OH MY FUCKEN GOD! You cannot be ...
OH MY FUCKEN GOD!
You cannot be serious! Since when have kiwi "Pop Groups" ever made money??!! Sure they might last on the chart for a week and a couple 11 year old girls will be the shitty single, Then what? Be a Co-Host for the Mike King show?
/Alternative Music is hard to sell and im glad it is, i likea challenge. But trying to make everyone sing your crap is just going to be a laughing stock.
But now i thank you because you have now inspired me to make my own record label. (Actually been in the making for a while)
I'd rather spend the rest of my life helping bands do their best and not make a single cent, than to sell out a few bubblegum artist and plague the world with crap it really doesnt ned.
Think about the people...not yourself
Actually I am thinking about 'the ...
Actually I am thinking about 'the people' this is what 'the people' want! That is why pop is short for ............"popular"...............because that is what most people like. Anything else ie 'alternative' is only for a small sector.
I suppose if I really wanted to make money from music I should start a Christian rock band, that accounts for a huge amount of the market, or perhaps a country band, but next in line for sales is the 'pop' genre.
By forming a quality pop band I am therefore thinking of 'the people'.
????????????????????????????????????????...
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
ATCL?? You want people with 8 years ...
ATCL?? You want people with 8 years classical training to start a pop band so you can get rich???
I want the most proficient players!...
I want the most proficient players!
haha you're a funny guy. i just hope ...
haha you're a funny guy. i just hope you're takin the mickey or god help us all. what are you doin on this site buddy?
Thanks so far to the three people that ...
Thanks so far to the three people that have requested audition appointments.
By the way, I am an orchestral conductor and have formal music training and..................I love Metallica, Queen, The Beatles, Secret Chiefs 3, Muse, David Bowie, Tchaikovsky, Ramstein, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Wagner, Berlioz, Radiohead, Tool, Chingy and pretty much everything else!
I just don't like music that contradicts the lyrics and I hate poor production!
I like music that has good balance and blend bewteen the instruments, to be able to hear the lyrics clearly and serves a purpose.
Thanks evryone for their thoughts so far,
Tane McLeay
so youre a christian & you ...
so
youre a
christian
& you dont
like randy
newman
Hehehe, not neccesarily music serving ...
Hehehe, not neccesarily music serving that service. However I must say that I do like singing hymns now and then. My friend plays the organ and directs a Catholic Church choir, sometimes I help out at Christmas or easter if I am around and sometimes I durect their rehearsals if she is away.
Did I mention that I enjoy music by John Psathas and Gareth Farr as well as loads of other people from NZ and abroad.
Ok, you have been trained to the Obi ...
Ok, you have been trained to the Obi Wan. Now...why are you going to waste it on crap?
You said in a post earlier that "I Wanna get rich, i don't want to be greedy". How do you think people get rich? I'll give you a clue, You have to be a greedy, stingy bastard (Quote taken from my uncle who is in fact rich.)
The thing that the doesn't need are people like you, thats whats fucking this place up. I know the human race was built upon greed and you are a prime example of that.
Getting a quick buck by selling shit is greedy but being succesful is is a succes in it self. And you don't have to be rich to be sucessful.
If you want tutoring, please watch "Bill Hicks - Revelations"
Yeah but who DOESN'T like Chingy?...
Yeah but who DOESN'T like Chingy?
Everyone LOVES Chingy!...
Everyone LOVES Chingy!
right thurr...
right thurr
hehehe!...
hehehe!
Please only email me about the Pop Band ...
Please only email me about the Pop Band if you are serious. I have just recieved an email with band name suggestions. The band names also infer what type of music the pop band would produce. I want to be able to have a lot of scope!
These are some of the unhelpful suggestions:
Suga Boyz
Aunt Helens Cherries
Five
Vanilla Icehouse
Wellington Soundmachine
Aberrant Intelligentsia
Young Plum Sugar
Kind regards,
Tane McLeay
// I want to be able to have a lot of ...
// I want to be able to have a lot of scope!
irnoically....you should just save yourself a bunch of hassle and manage a nz pop band already formed "Scope", find them at scopemusic.co.nz . I reckon saying that you want to be able to have "a lot of scope" and the fact that the next NZ pop band in waiting is called "scope" is just too damn co-incidental.
Seriously, save yourself the hassle of auditions, songwriting, recording, rehersals, band break-ups, and just manage these guys, I'm pretty sure they are still looking for management. They sound like a cross between Savage Garden, Babylon Zoo and Boyzone.
I bet you $5 they would be bigger then Deep Obsession ;)
How about...... The Cherry Poppers ?...
How about......
The Cherry Poppers
?
That is interewsting. Josh had a band ...
That is interewsting. Josh had a band at Scots College I remember seeing in the newspaper at Rockquest a few years ago! I used to teach his younger brother (the trombone). What a small world!
yeah..and they call it NZ idol...
yeah..and they call it NZ idol
We will be better than that!...
We will be better than that!
Hey James, why don't you check out a ...
Hey James, why don't you check out a band called aangelsound. They are very hot property at the moment and could be just what you're looking for.
Maybe divide your time between ...
Maybe divide your time between Angelsound (because, like, the singer's name is Angel!) and the equally talented Ishtar. Cover your bases.
I just said that I want to be rich. I ...
I just said that I want to be rich. I didn't say that I was greedy!
????????????????????????????????????????...
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????
What I meant Mongo 18 was that I don't ...
What I meant Mongo 18 was that I don't want to have every upcoming pop band in the country. I just want one very successful pop band.
// I just want one very successful pop ...
// I just want one very successful pop band.
"that I can't play in myself. cos I'm not good looking enough and I don't have the right shoes"
This would have been a great story if you pulled it off and then told everyone how you did it, but instead you "pulled it off" and everyone wants to sit back and watch you fall over onto your smug and conceited little ass.
/Maybe divide your time between ...
/Maybe divide your time between Angelsound (because, like, the singer's name is Angel!) and the equally talented Ishtar. Cover your bases.
Portia, your whole penis envy thing is getting a little old isn't it? One word of advice little man, keep in mind we are both in the same town, it is a very small world here and if you push me too far I will beat the shit out of you.
Ok big man thanks for the advice. I ...
Ok big man thanks for the advice. I hope i don't push you over the edge and feel your deadly wrath.
Yo, portia, a long time ago you said ...
Yo, portia, a long time ago you said you'd email me for coffee when you were in the neighbourhood.
DISCLAIMER: I won't invite simon_ishtar.
I never forgot, but you never mentioned ...
I never forgot, but you never mentioned it again.....Consider yourself emailed (in about three minutes time).
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe today I will find ...
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe today I will find out about Angelsound.
Cheers,
Tane
This is brilliant. When you have your ...
This is brilliant. When you have your pop band together please come and play a gig with our band. We could play at the Valve, it would be perfect.
I am sorry ...
I am sorry but.....................
To maintain the wholesome image of my pop band we will only consider venues that meet our strict criteria. If you were proposing the High Rollers Lounge at the Sky City Casino and we could discuss the possibilty!
Don;t get me wrong I love the Valve bar and have enjoyed many gigs there but it doesn't have the spaciousness that I require for my audience or a brasserie menu. Unfortunately the Valve just won't be BIG enough for us to play in.
Of course we will do stadium style concerts in the future but that has a different kind of class attached to it.
For now think "exclusive". We will be successful because only a handful of people will be able to hear us initially. The mystery will challenge the papparazzi and will entice the rich to come to the selected resorts that we will play.
Thanks for the offer,
Tane McLeay
// Of course we will do stadium style ...
// Of course we will do stadium style concerts in the future
haha.. of course, this is all a big joke. haha. I get it.hahaha
//my pop band // I require for my ...
//my pop band
// I require for my audience
// BIG enough for us to play in
// we will do stadium style concerts
// hear us initially.
so are you gonna be in the band or what?
haw haw. he had me worried. //only ...
haw haw. he had me worried.
//only a handful of people will be able to hear us initially.
nothing new there, for gigging in New Zealand
// The mystery will challenge the papparazzi
who the hell are they, woman's weekly? i guess some media people will be interested in 'car crash' story comparing this "Pop Band Musicians" and other car crashes like True Bliss.
// will entice the rich to come to the selected resorts that we will play.
= gig going audiences? music appreciating audiences? you'd better form a classical band. a classical pop band. just hire four models and make them sing opera = 5 minutes of fame on Headliners and some rich people turning up for the charity-related gig.