How can I do the actions if I'm trying to hold my flute? It's been a while since I played it, intense concentration required..

I suppose that'd work, although hokey tokey isn't quite so pleasant to play on the flute. Would you consider any other song options? Some enchanted evening, perhaps?

Hey - get the meths ready - god knows I need it.

You've got a deal. One down, 26 to go.

Get lost , pissface.

Good try.

Hey Shayne - how's it goin?

Like you would know, child. I bet you can't even play the flute either.

Ring up Ian Anderson - I'm sure he'll oblige.

Sorry child, although you may have qualifications, you have no practical experience, therefore you would have to be at the very back of the 'Bliss' nude V-shape ensemble, possibly striking a triangle intermittently. Or fetching the tea.

So where would you prefer to stand in the V-shaped ensemble?

The more snot the merrier.

and thats just not funny. I've heard it a million times already.

That's 'cos this child has probably done it a million... anyway leave her alone, I want her fetching the tea.

you wanna go, cunt?

I always get out of bed the right side, even though I'm blue, even though I'm blue, even though I'm blue.

yes, you are lost, aren't you.....

a million and 2

And they're really uncomfortable up your clacker.

//That's a terrible way to treat them!

Not if it has been a very very naughty flute . . .