favourite slag-off quotes
"The cure have given a new meaning to the word crap" - Morrissey.
"At least we've given a new meaning to the word, not built a career out of it" – Robert Smith.
"I'm delighted the smiths no longer exist" - Robert Smith
"If morrissey became a vegetarian, i'd eat meat- thats how much i hate morrissey" – Robert Smith
"I'm claming celebacy, as the only person worthy of having sex with me, is myself" - Morrissey.
"The best thing to come out of sheffield are pulp, and they're shit" – Nicky Wire- manic street preachers.
"I don't like animal porn, its boring, just the same thing- different animal" - Richey Edwards- manic street preachers
"music for bedwetters" - Alan McGee on coldplay
Mogwai t-shirt: Blur Are Shite
Blur t-shirt: Mogwai Are ??
"Well, I'd rather make a cup of tea than listen to that, which is what I'm doing at the moment. Everything I dislike about music, Bryan Adams is the epitomy. Corporate rock, terrible production, designed for radio, no thought, no soul, no sensitivity, no sex, inoffensive, easy, involves nothing. You can't even compare it to his other stuff because how can you compare turkeys? A turkey is a turkey"- Richey Edwards
Does the madness of Britpop and the Blur feud now seem distantand faintly ridiculous to you?
Liam: The Blur/Oasis thing was very silly but it was fun. I meant every word I said. They're still a bunch of goons but...
N: The thing that still pisses me off to this day is that cuntfuck said we engineered the battle with his bunch of wankers. Oasis don't need to compete with a bunch of cunts who did A-level music. They're fakers.
Liam: That Gorillaz album – fucking rubbish.
Noel: All that, "I'm happy, feeling glad/Got sunshine in a bag?... " That was beyond comedy. That cunt is like, "Is there a bandwagon passing? Park it outside my house." He'll be in a heavy metal band next year when it's fashionable. He's nothing. And it's fitting that he ended up as a cartoon. He always was a cartoon.
Shit sandwich.
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21 Nov 2009 - Anika Moa, Julia Deans
9:30 PM, Doors 6:00 PM, $32Leigh Sawmill Cafe
Leigh, North Auckland
21 Nov 2009 - Carthaginian, Freudoids, Milk Train
Doors 9:00 PM, $7Whammy Bar
Newton, Central Auckland
21 Nov 2009 - The Renderers, White Swan Black Swan
Doors 8:00 PM,Kings Arms
Newton, Central Auckland
21 Nov 2009 - Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra
9:00 PM, Doors 8:00 PM, $20Windsor Castle
Parnell, Central Auckland
21 Nov 2009 - BNZ Ukulele Festival
10:00 AM, Doors 10:00 AM, FreeMt Smart Stadium
Penrose, South Auckland
21 Nov 2009 - Luger Boa
9:00 PM, Doors 8:00 PM, $20The Brownzy Sports Bar
Browns Bay, North Auckland
21 Nov 2009 - Jealous Itch, Bonneville Stingers, Ritual Grounds, Burning Embers
9:00 PM, Doors 8:00 PM, $12Dogs Bollix
Newton, Central Auckland
Comments
"Dimmer are like Marvin Gaye but without the Marvin" - Betchadupa.
Although I'm not sure if that was a real quote or not.
yes it was but betchapuda are shit, I'd rather a million marvin gaye impressions.....
I think it was more that Dimmer want to be like Marvin Gaye, but ended up forgetting the "Marvin". Subtle difference I guess.
I don't understand it at all as a criticism, but it's kinda funny regardless. I would say a big part of the appeal of someone like Carter trying to do something in the vein of a black soul man is the way in which he fails to get there... He doesn't come off like he's blindly appropriating something he's nothing to do with.
(Shamefully I guess I'm saying he falls on the right side of the Golden Rule... fuck you, ghost of Lena O)
And having said it was kinda funny, obviously the homophobic sentiments would be decried to the tune of 20-30 follow ups if it had been written on an internet forum. :)
It was said as a criticism, and it's a bit rich criticisng carter, who in my opinion is one of the few unique voices in nz music at the moment, for being unoriginal, when liam and his band make music that sounds like a poor imitation of the kind of thing flying nun used to put out.
Yeah agreed. By "I don't understand it at all as a criticism" I meant it's a criticism that I don't understand, not I don't understand how the statement can be seen as criticism...
I thought they were just joking around?
Even though I don't buy the visuals or the name - I'm not a big fan of 'Foo Fighters' as a name of a band, I still don't get what that means, or what the band looks like - to me it's undeniable music. But it goes back to my childhood. It's a shame the visuals don't match the music. In this case the music is my kind of stuff, it's superb. And if I was in charge of Foo Fighters I'd get rid of that name, give 'em a bath, and make them look like rock stars. 'Cause that's a rock star band." - Gene Simmons, 2002
Zakk Wylde
"If I ever run into Dave Grohl, I'm gonna kick his fuckin' ass, because I think he sucks, and he wrote this cheese-dick song for Ozzy that I have to fuckin' play on, and I'll never forgive him for that. Foo Fighters is a fuckin' candy-ass girl band, but you've got that motherfucker submitting songs, too. I mean, none of these guys could play a Randy Rhoads solo if they tried. Dave Grohl? Fuck Dave Grohl! Let him get up there and play Mr. Crowley; he can't fuckin' do it! and it's like, you're getting this guy to write songs for Ozzy? Just because he played drums for fucking Shitvana?" - Zakk Wylde, 2001
Dave Grohl & Taylor Hawkins
Nelly - Hot In Herre
Dave: You know this song? Nelly?
Taylor: He could have affiliations we better be careful.
I don't think he has anymore
Taylor: Anymore. Once you're in you're never out. I've never even heard this song.
Dave: You hang out at the wrong clubs.
Any idea why he's got a Band-Aid on his face?
Dave: Maybe he popped a zit.
The Hives - Hate To Say I Told You So
Dave: I do love the Hives. This kind of has that 'My Sharona' effect on people. It spans all demographics. It's just a totally bare-essentials rock song.
Taylor:The Stooges did it better.
Dave: Elaborate.
Taylor: It just sounds like if the Stooges were way tighter.
Dave: Or maybe if the Kinks didn't fight so much.
Avril Lavigne - Sk8ter Boi
Dave: Is this Bon Jovi? dont tell us. Is Pat Benetar back?
Taylor: I'm sorry I hate high school lyrics like this. It grosses me out to picture some 50-year-old A&R dude in a limo with her, like [puts arm around imaginary girl], "This is gonna be huge, baby. The kids are going to love this." It's like God! Go right for the fuckin' mallrats!
Dave: Well she's Canadian.
Taylor: She got a nose ring?
Dave: I dont know, but I bet her navel's pierced.
Taylor: No, she's got a tattoo of a dolphin on her butt.
The Vines - Get Free
Taylor: I think these guys suck. This song is real fuckin' boring.
Dave: Avril Lavigne's song is more challenging than this. If you really want to challenge the listener give them some of that Canadian stuff.
Taylor: This is just, like, buy your angst at the local Kmart.
Dave, does this Nirvana sound bug you at all?
Dave: It doesn't bother me that much.
Christina Aguilera - Dirrty
Taylor: I'd rather discuss the video. The song doesn't even matter!
Dave: It's a serious career shift.
Taylor: Yeah, like when Guns N' Roses went from Welcome To The Jungle to November Rain. I don't know if it's going to work out for her.
Dave: I think it promotes group sex: it promotes lesbianism.
Taylor: She's a little slut! Just kidding.
Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You
Taylor: Ugh! I'm sorry, Mr Timberlake!
Dave: This is Justin? It sounds like Michael Jackson.
Taylor: Are there young boys in the video? Justin tries to dance like Michael Jackson - he even has the hat on.
Dave: Here's the deal with Justin. I'll go rent Breakin' 2 and put on Thriller, and there you go.
Kylie - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
Dave: Killer song! No question! You're getting ready to hit the clubs, put this on. It's got an old nursery-rhyme melody to it - un forgettable.
Taylor: Kylie - I'm proud of her.
Dave:I've got to say I can't stand it when a singer dances - except for Kylie.
Taylor: Freddie Mercury.
Dave: Freddie didn't dance; he pranced.
Taylor: This songs way better than that Christina Aguilera - Aguilerica.
Dave: I've got an idea! Let's start a Christina Aguleria metal cover band - do all her songs but heavy metal, and call it 'Aguilerica'.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - By The Way
Dave: What's this song about?
It's about a girl he wants to sleep with who's coming to the show.
Dave: Isn't that what all their songs are about?
Taylor: That's what all our songs are about.
Kelly Osbourne - Papa Don't Preach
Dave: I dig it! She's got a good voice man.
Taylor: I bet that's dave Navarro playing guitar.
Dave: He definitely sounds pierced.
Taylor: Whoever's playing guitar has his tits pierced, so it's probably Navarro.
Dave: I'm into Kelly Osbourne. She's the snotty punk-rock kid at your high school - but deep down, she's kinda sensitive.
Dirty Vegas - Days Go By
Dave: Is it a car commercial? You could sell a ton of cars with this song. (adopts portenous car commercial voice) Ford Aspire.
Taylor: A new wave in technology.
Dave: The new Ford Probe!
Taylor: Feel the power. Next!
Eminem - Without Me
Dave I love this. Great song no question.
Taylor: What's so cool about Eminem is the rhythms of his melodies - he's a step ahead of everybody with his flow. As far as I'm concerned, there's him, Snoop and Kool Keith.
Dave: So good! So Hilarious!
Taylor: Awesome. He's no dummy. He's an intelligent motherfucker.
Dave: Even Moby probably likes this song.
Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles
Taylor: What the hell is this shit? Is it someone's piano recital? Who's Vanessa Carlton?
Dave: Some girl who plays piano.
Taylor: It's kind of like the new Bruce Hornsby. Does the Range play with her? Nah, I don't like it.
Dave: Flashdance.
System Of A Down - Toxicity
Dave: Badass sound.
Taylor: I like the fact music like this is...
Dave: ..challenging people.
Taylor: I'd rather listen to early Genesis or early Rush, just because it's more nostalgic, but it's fucking awesome to me that shit like this is popular.
Dave: Agreed.
Shakira - Underneath Your Clothes
Dave: Shakira sounds like she's got a fuckin' booger in her throat that she's got to cough out. She's like sex education in junior high where you see the cartoon diagrams of a penis entering a vagina; it's just caricatures of sex. That's how I see Shakira. Does that make any sense?
Taylor: No, but I say we leave it at that
"Dave Grohl's an asshole" - Louise Post
//Dave: Shakira sounds like she's got a fuckin' booger in her throat that she's got to cough out. She's like sex education in junior high where you see the cartoon diagrams of a penis entering a vagina; it's just caricatures of sex. That's how I see Shakira. Does that make any sense?
ooooh, that's mean
This still astounds me, just for being such a complete "fuck you" to a bandmate of so many years.
A pretty face may last a year or two
But pretty soon they'll see what you can do
The sound you make is Muzak to my ears
You must have learned something in all those years
- John Lennon's 'How Can You Sleep?', about Paul McCartney
And more Blur mocking. A couple of quotes from an interview where Damon & Graham meet Holger & Irmin of Can and basically get condemned by their idols for being more backwards than a couple of 61 year olds. This is off Holger's website, looks like it was translated automatically from German.
[about Can's first record]
Irmin: you understand music best if you play it. at its best every day as we did with can. when we haven't been on tour we were together in the studio often more than sixteen hours. we took our instruments and waited where we were gone to be taken to.
sz-: thirty years after that blur have released now an album which critics estimate as wild, modern and dared.
Holger: very astonishing that.
[....]
Holger: you are really another generation.
Damon: hold on, you are even older than my father is.
Holger: even worse that you count on the same idols as your fathers. why are you fond of the beatles instead of the sex pistols. why doesn't your generation have its own heros?
Graham: i see the problem. since a long time i don't dare to say that rubber soul is my favorite album of all time.
Damon: the sex pistols were just a mediocre pub band.
Holger: the sex pistols at least have tried to be radical. John Lydon who once wanted to become a can singer also wanted to start at zero. you have to risk that in order to find out about your own identity and not borrowing it from your fathers.
Damon: but i don't mind being like my father.
sz-: is there anything new in blur?
Holger: the records sound like yesterday. the instruments are from yesterday.
[ external link ]
I like Henry Rollins describing the Edge as "that fake ass pilgrim with his one Eno-esque chord" as well.
- "Michael Jackon: he started life as a black man. Now he's a white girl" (Comedian)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music" (Orson Welles on Donny Osmond)
- "I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle" (Alfred Hitchcock)
- "He is Castro's courtesan" (Mario Vargas Llosa on Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
- "Lars von Trier is a mechanic, not an artist. And his movies are meat grinders he feeds his characters through" (Dancer in the Dark review)
- "Myers doesn't just dig holes with his jokes, he contructs mining towns around them" (Austin Powers: Goldmember review)
And some classic slag-offs from the Bard himself:
- "Thou cockered swag-bellied miscreant!"
- "Thou mangled crook-pated foot-licker!"
- "Thou froward bat-fowling measle!"
- "Thou qualling knotty-pated pignut!"
- "Thou infectious dismal-dreaming apple-john!"
- "Thou rank swag-bellied mumble-news!"
- "Thou frothy ill-breeding hugger-mugger!"
- "Thou dissembling beef-witted flax-wench!"
McGrath to Eddo Brandes:
"Oi Brandes, why are you so fat?"
"Because everytime I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Rod Marsh to Ian Botham, who had just arrived to the crease:
"So how's your wife and my kids?"
" they are either christain, crap or both, they wouldnt know good music if it gave them a blow job"
Chris knox talking about Creed
Miles@'71 Grammy Awards.
"Thanks for handing out so many awards to white people copying black peoples shit. How bout we have the Mammy Awards for the black folk?".
Hmmm, a little risky on Miles' part there...
Anthony Jackson on Electric Bass Players,
"Our reputation is that of a bunch of Audio know-nothings who keep all their knobs on 10 and only worry about who isnt wearing underwear in the front row".
On Wynton Marsalis crusade to block Jazz "unrestricted experimentation",
"The apologigsts, the insecure, and the take that jungle music off crowd, could not desteoy Jazz. Why then do we find Mr Marsalis and his congress of simple minded wanna-bes extolling the merits of "Pure-Jazz", taking upon themselves the twin mantles of saviour and rejuvenator? Inasmuch as the form has shown itself to be capable of withstanding the vissitudes of neglect, corruption, revision, and outright attack, I maintain this latest crop of redeemers is more artisically bankrupt, morally hypocritical, and historically irrelevant than any that has come before".
"Watch for an ever increasing backwash of thirdrate Acoustic Albums. Watch for the desperatley repentant Fusion traitors. You know the ones, the guy playing a be-bop solo over 900 bars of Bb7#9".
Slapping, "The Ketchup of Bass playing".
Critque Bass Player magazine
"Chops, Play Better now!, is this an euphanism for technique? It seems the virtues of paitence, diligence and discipline in other words, years of study and practice ,are deemed secondary, if they are deemed at all."
"Should you learn to read music? Should you not? this is preposterous. Presenting the idea that a Musician could possibly be behaving intelligently by choosing not to read the language of his or her craft
is the most irresponsible thing this magazine has done.
On the Industry
"Sadly much of the recording industry- paranoid and obsessed with incomphrensible profit making
and conservitism to the point of superstistion, we are in a Dark Age. Jazz fears to part the curtain, least its preoccupoation with the womb is distrubed, whilst commerical music refuses to even acknowledge it even has a past worth paying for- new artists would rather steal from old songs than write there own.
The present group of industry argon-heads"arbitiers of public taste" will be thrown out eventually, as always, and replaced by a differentley flavoured but essientially similar group. Neon-Heads perhaps.
Little will change, and few will care that little will change.
On 6 string Bass Players.
"The instrument is still new to most, and unfortunatley many people are playing it because they cant thin kof anything else to do that sets them before the world in a positive light.
Often they compound this foolishness by joining the slap and clone wars".
So hand it up for AJ. A mighty talent and a mighty brain.
Miles on Mingus: fat motherfucker
Miles Bilndfold test @ Downbeat
Caravan from Ellingtons Money Jungle.
Mingus is a hell of a Bass Player and Max is a hell of a Drummer but Duke cant play with them.
Record Companies should be kicked in the "....".
Somebody should take picket signs to the record company.
Chris Rock@ MTV music awards 2002?
Good Charlotte? Um.. More like an average Green Day.
2003 i think.
right before they came on to play, classic. :D
//right before they came on to play
I'm pretty sure it was after they finished
I'm pretty sure YOU ARE WRONG
Mingus on Miles: junkie cocksucker
"If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog."
Joan Rivers (about Yoko Ono)
"Bon Jovi sounds like bad fourth-generation metal, a smudgy Xerox of Quiet Riot."
-Jimmy Guterman
I seem to remember Fat Mike from NOFX let some pretty witty insults fly, but i cant find thm anywhere
Another one from my friend and yours, William Shakespeare:
"Go thou, and fill another room in hell!" - Richard II