Apologies if you've heard this one before from me, but it's (still) all the rage in the office - would you rather go out with a pirate or a ninja? Discuss.
(There's a theory being tested, but I won't say what it is just yet)
Actually, pirates would be kinda dirty & scody... A ninja might be better to go out with due to the cleanliness factor, but generally I like pirates way better than ninjas.
Yeah, Johhny Depp...Guybrush Threepwood...
Submitted by iluvtheclean on Mon, 2004-10-18 18:56.
if pirates were all like Johnny Depp, then hell yeah. but i'm thinking a heap of them have very bad teeth, bad breath, lice ...
i think i'd go for a ninja. takes a bit of nous and discipline to be one. you can't be a half-arsed ninja for very long and expect to survive when fighting other ninjas. i bet they are great in the kitchen, and between the sheets.
what i'd really really like is to be a pirate who is dating a ninja. that would be perfect. so i can trounce around swearing all day and ignoring my personal hygiene requirements; looting, pillaging, drinking and catwauling god-awful shanties, but at night i'd go home to my classy ninja in her/his ultra-moderne classy pad and eat amazing fragrant delicate asian food.
//i bet they are great in the kitchen, and between the sheets. I know monks are not ninja, but when grasshopper grew up and met a nice girl in america, he knew what to do, I can remember as an 11 year old, thinking the way he held her face as he kissed her was the most errotic thing ever, and the mere fact I can still remember it, well........
. . . which reminds me, about a month ago I was watching a Japanese movie on sky about this bunch of samurai warriors, it was subtitled and I wasn't really bothering to read them, but then it slowly dawned on me that they were all eyeing each other in a ‘hey big boy how long is your sword’ kind of way, sure enough they all started confessing their love for one another, they all got jealous and then . . . . (didn't watch the rest, decided by then that I needed a Baywatch fix)
Submitted by maniac*nymph on Mon, 2004-10-18 23:54.
//why do you think there are no cabingirls
because they would all get pregnant from the randy pirates (if maeve binchy and bryce courtenay have taught me anything, it is that people who go on boats become very horny) and you cant have babies squeaking about when youre trying to rape and pillage and loot other boaties can you know? besides, everyone KNOWS that once a pirategirl becomes a mummy, she becomes a landubber and stays at home and looks after the babies and do johnny depps washing and handmake him pretty buckled shoes and buy him eyeliner and black eyeshadow and do his washing and vacuuming so he has stores/a nice house waiting for him when he comes ashore to blow up villages in search of magickal gold pendant-isms. duh.
besides, when there actually were lots of pirates women werent exactly thought highly of. theyd get taken hostage by other rival pirate-gangs and become nuisances, coz they woulda been too weak.
PIRATES: –
Ear-rings
Long hair (men only have pony-tails for one reason!)
Puffy shirts with frilly cuffs & collars
Lots of sparkly jewellery
Rum (no offence to any one from Taranaki, but rum is a girl’s drink)
Fancy hats
Cabin boys
Friggin’ in the rigging
Months at a time cruising around on a boat loaded with men only – (even today cruise ships are for retired couples & men looking for a bit of man lovin’)
As a guy I'd rather go out with a chick ninja, cause a chick pirate would be just too butch for me,
Sure the ninja would still be able to beat me up but she'd do it in a sexy way rather than just slugging me with a broken rum bottle, plus with the pirate chick I'd wake up one day and she'd be gone and so would all my gold coins & treasure, thieving bitch!!!
Only problem with the ninja would be that she works the night shift so we'd never get to see each other, but when we did . . . man would she have some moves!!!!
Pirate Pros:
1) I wouldn’t get told off for – swearing, spitting, grunting, drinking, generally just being a guy etc
2) She would have a boat!!!! (That’s worth 10 points alone)
3) She would be a slut
4) She would wear cool busty cleavage corsets . . . mmmmm
5) She would be outta my hair for 3 odd months at a time
Pirate Cons:
1) During those 3 odd months she’d be on a ship with 30 horny men – am I a big enough man to deal with that??? . . . . . No!
2) She would be a slut
3) Girls should smell nice, not like a . . . pirate
4) She would be stronger than me
5) She would have craggy sea & sun hardened skin & rough man hands
6) She would have a drinking problem
7) Her workmates would probably think that if she is the pirate that I must be the bitch
8) In this case, they could be right
9) She would rob me
Ninja Pros:
1) She would be clean & tidy
2) She would be very flexible (that’s worth 10 points alone)
3) She would be obedient (ha ha ha)
4) She would be quiet
5) She would have cooler weapons than a pirate (ninja stars, nun-chucks etc)
6) She could do cool flips & summersaults & stuff
7) She wouldn’t rob me
Ninja Cons:
1) She works at night
2) She could ugly . . . how would I know if she’s got her ninja mask on all the time
3) If I made a joke about my mother-in-law, I’d get sliced up like a watermelon for disrespecting her family honour
4) I don’t like sushi
5) My family would think that she’s a depressing goth/bogan dressing in black all the time,
6) Not very boobilicious (according to Joanna)
Submitted by maniac*nymph on Tue, 2004-10-19 00:00.
i beg to differ-im a pirate but i kept my boat (which *conveniantly* just sank) very well stocked with moisturiser and sunscreen. pirates are MUCH hotter than ninjas anyway. besides, in our galleys, we have handcuffs and ropes. (ex-slave trading ships).
Submitted by maniac*nymph on Wed, 2004-10-20 22:17.
jay_h would you like to be a pirate on my ship? because it's hard finding pirates but then-wow-one turns up on nzmusic and you even have your own sword AND parrot!
Submitted by maniac*nymph on Mon, 2004-10-18 23:15.
if all pirates looked like johnny depp/jack sparrow.....*drool*...yes and being a pirate myself i have to stay true to my kind- so i'll go with pirate.
i really really really really want an old galleon (sp) boaty-ism to sail around in and find treaure.....if any of you wish to be my crew, thats cool but please only apply if you are hot and have swords or guns. thank you.
Yeah I'm thinking Keira Knightley from Pirates of the Carribean (technically not a pirate girl but could be persuaded to turn into one) vs the girl (can't remember name) from Crouching Tiger (yes technically not a ninja but nevertheless has ninja like stealth skills).
It's a close one - I would have to go with ninja - I kind of like the whole disciplined thing. As long as it's not tantric they're into.
However, if someone mentions Lucy Liu I would have to converted to piratism.
Comments
Two words. Johnny Depp.
2 more words: Captain Pugwash.
baaahahahaaa! You're my new hero.
ha saw him on Nightmare on Elm St the other night
me too.
hes so much hotter now.
he didnt have his bold features then. mmmmmmmmm
Two words: Hakuna. Matata.
Pirate.
Actually, pirates would be kinda dirty & scody... A ninja might be better to go out with due to the cleanliness factor, but generally I like pirates way better than ninjas.
Yeah, Johhny Depp...Guybrush Threepwood...
aw man, guybrush is HOT. "you fight like a dairy farmer!"
//Yeah, Johhny Depp...Guybrush Threepwood...
two damn good reason to vote pirate
if pirates were all like Johnny Depp, then hell yeah. but i'm thinking a heap of them have very bad teeth, bad breath, lice ...
i think i'd go for a ninja. takes a bit of nous and discipline to be one. you can't be a half-arsed ninja for very long and expect to survive when fighting other ninjas. i bet they are great in the kitchen, and between the sheets.
what i'd really really like is to be a pirate who is dating a ninja. that would be perfect. so i can trounce around swearing all day and ignoring my personal hygiene requirements; looting, pillaging, drinking and catwauling god-awful shanties, but at night i'd go home to my classy ninja in her/his ultra-moderne classy pad and eat amazing fragrant delicate asian food.
//i bet they are great in the kitchen, and between the sheets. I know monks are not ninja, but when grasshopper grew up and met a nice girl in america, he knew what to do, I can remember as an 11 year old, thinking the way he held her face as he kissed her was the most errotic thing ever, and the mere fact I can still remember it, well........
//what i'd really really like is to be a pirate who is dating a ninja.
Cleanie, you are the smartest person in the WORLD. You make me want to be a better ninja.
you do all realise that Jonny Depp is not a real pirate . .?
besides . . . pirates like other pirates, why do you think there are cabin boys and not cabin girls???
. . . which reminds me, about a month ago I was watching a Japanese movie on sky about this bunch of samurai warriors, it was subtitled and I wasn't really bothering to read them, but then it slowly dawned on me that they were all eyeing each other in a ‘hey big boy how long is your sword’ kind of way, sure enough they all started confessing their love for one another, they all got jealous and then . . . . (didn't watch the rest, decided by then that I needed a Baywatch fix)
so maybe ninjas like other ninjas as well?
//why do you think there are no cabingirls
because they would all get pregnant from the randy pirates (if maeve binchy and bryce courtenay have taught me anything, it is that people who go on boats become very horny) and you cant have babies squeaking about when youre trying to rape and pillage and loot other boaties can you know? besides, everyone KNOWS that once a pirategirl becomes a mummy, she becomes a landubber and stays at home and looks after the babies and do johnny depps washing and handmake him pretty buckled shoes and buy him eyeliner and black eyeshadow and do his washing and vacuuming so he has stores/a nice house waiting for him when he comes ashore to blow up villages in search of magickal gold pendant-isms. duh.
besides, when there actually were lots of pirates women werent exactly thought highly of. theyd get taken hostage by other rival pirate-gangs and become nuisances, coz they woulda been too weak.
PIRATES: –
Ear-rings
Long hair (men only have pony-tails for one reason!)
Puffy shirts with frilly cuffs & collars
Lots of sparkly jewellery
Rum (no offence to any one from Taranaki, but rum is a girl’s drink)
Fancy hats
Cabin boys
Friggin’ in the rigging
Months at a time cruising around on a boat loaded with men only – (even today cruise ships are for retired couples & men looking for a bit of man lovin’)
. . . . again, Pirates like other Pirates!
/PIRATES: –
Ear-rings
Long hair
Rum
That's me so far
So, just to be contrary I vote Ninja.
go you. guys with long hair and earrings are hot.
As a guy I'd rather go out with a chick ninja, cause a chick pirate would be just too butch for me,
Sure the ninja would still be able to beat me up but she'd do it in a sexy way rather than just slugging me with a broken rum bottle, plus with the pirate chick I'd wake up one day and she'd be gone and so would all my gold coins & treasure, thieving bitch!!!
Only problem with the ninja would be that she works the night shift so we'd never get to see each other, but when we did . . . man would she have some moves!!!!
Female ninjas wouldn't be very boobilicious though, would that change your mind?
Hmmm . . .
Pirate Pros:
1) I wouldn’t get told off for – swearing, spitting, grunting, drinking, generally just being a guy etc
2) She would have a boat!!!! (That’s worth 10 points alone)
3) She would be a slut
4) She would wear cool busty cleavage corsets . . . mmmmm
5) She would be outta my hair for 3 odd months at a time
Pirate Cons:
1) During those 3 odd months she’d be on a ship with 30 horny men – am I a big enough man to deal with that??? . . . . . No!
2) She would be a slut
3) Girls should smell nice, not like a . . . pirate
4) She would be stronger than me
5) She would have craggy sea & sun hardened skin & rough man hands
6) She would have a drinking problem
7) Her workmates would probably think that if she is the pirate that I must be the bitch
8) In this case, they could be right
9) She would rob me
Ninja Pros:
1) She would be clean & tidy
2) She would be very flexible (that’s worth 10 points alone)
3) She would be obedient (ha ha ha)
4) She would be quiet
5) She would have cooler weapons than a pirate (ninja stars, nun-chucks etc)
6) She could do cool flips & summersaults & stuff
7) She wouldn’t rob me
Ninja Cons:
1) She works at night
2) She could ugly . . . how would I know if she’s got her ninja mask on all the time
3) If I made a joke about my mother-in-law, I’d get sliced up like a watermelon for disrespecting her family honour
4) I don’t like sushi
5) My family would think that she’s a depressing goth/bogan dressing in black all the time,
6) Not very boobilicious (according to Joanna)
Ninja chick wins !!!
Boobs would get in the way of being effective fighting warriors, hence my call about ninjas not having very much.
i beg to differ-im a pirate but i kept my boat (which *conveniantly* just sank) very well stocked with moisturiser and sunscreen. pirates are MUCH hotter than ninjas anyway. besides, in our galleys, we have handcuffs and ropes. (ex-slave trading ships).
//Boobs would get in the way of being effective fighting warriors, hence my call about ninjas not having very much.
ahh but a true ninja would be able to use them as weapons anyway
Check out my profile picture, haha.
Lughead - I think the only con that'd be true with me is the drinking problem one.
phoaaaaaaaaaaaaar
//Check out my profile picture, haha. - Lughead - I think the only con that'd be true with me is the drinking problem one.
I still reakon you'd rob me of my treasures . . . .?
jay_h would you like to be a pirate on my ship? because it's hard finding pirates but then-wow-one turns up on nzmusic and you even have your own sword AND parrot!
Oh yeah I suppose I should add that I'd rather go out with a pirate, because I am all about the booty and having my swashes buckled real good.
agreed ninjas would be too swift and are too skinny.........
whereas pirates have the whole ropes and buckles thing going on......
maybe we should change this forum to be : Nzm'ers Sexual Fantasies Revealed
if all pirates looked like johnny depp/jack sparrow.....*drool*...yes and being a pirate myself i have to stay true to my kind- so i'll go with pirate.
i really really really really want an old galleon (sp) boaty-ism to sail around in and find treaure.....if any of you wish to be my crew, thats cool but please only apply if you are hot and have swords or guns. thank you.
*oh yes and to rape and pillage and.
oops *and* kill peter pan
applications or offers of seaworthy vessels at decent prices here or at improv_queen@hotmail.com
two words:
uma thurman
Yeah I'm thinking Keira Knightley from Pirates of the Carribean (technically not a pirate girl but could be persuaded to turn into one) vs the girl (can't remember name) from Crouching Tiger (yes technically not a ninja but nevertheless has ninja like stealth skills).
It's a close one - I would have to go with ninja - I kind of like the whole disciplined thing. As long as it's not tantric they're into.
However, if someone mentions Lucy Liu I would have to converted to piratism.
uma thurman = human, um, art
...man, rum, run,
MTHRAAUUMN
We prefer to be called Buccaneer New Zealanders
Yarrr
[ external link ]
regarding the question; definitely prefer a pirate girl.
I'd go put with a pirate chick - "Ar, get ye har me buxom wench!"
...well half cuddle half rape...
oi
//...well half cuddle half rape...
best pirate movie ever!!!!!
No doubt!
Man.
Ninjas all the way.